I STARTED A DISCUSSION A FEW DAYS AGO ABOUT "WHY ME." TODAY I HAD A LIGHT BULB MOMENT AFTER READING A PEOM POSTED CALLED "THE MAN IN THE MIRROR." (BY THE WAY-THANKS FOR THAT) I REALIZED THAT WHILE MY HUSBAND DID INJURE ME AND US AS A FAMILY HE HURT HIMSELF A WHOLE HECK OF A LOT MORE, BECAUSE HE ULTIMATELY HAS TO LOOK AT HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR EVEYDAY AND LIVE WITH HIS ACTIONS. BECAUSE THERE IS A CHILD INVOLVED WE CAN NOT JUST PUT THIS BEHIND US, WE HAVE A CONSTANT REMINDER. I AM LEARNING TO SEPERATE THE CHILD FROM THE AFFAIR, BUT LETS BE REAL, SHE IS A CONSTANT REMINDER. THIS HAS REALLY HURT ME, AND I AM TRYING TO COPE. HE NOW HAS SOME VERY HARD DECISIONS TO MAKE. NONE OF HIS FRIENDS KNOW WHAT HE HAS DONE TO HIS FAMILY, BY HAVING THIS AFFAIR AND CHILD AND HE DREADS THE DAY HE WILL HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO PEOPLE WHERE SHE CAME FROM. HE IS VERY EMBARASSED BY THIS SITUATION AND FEELS ALOT OF GUILT BECAUSE HE DID NOT WANT THIS CHILD. HE THINKS THAT THE PAIN STOPS ONCE I HEAL FROM THE AFFAIR BUT IT GOES FURTHER THAN THAT. I CAN NOT IMAGINE WHAT HIS LIFE IS LIKE AND WHAT GOES THRU HIS HEAD NOW THAT HE HAS BEEN EXPOSED. WE ARE STILL TOGETHER AND I CAN TELL HE IS PUTTING UP A FRONT LIKE HE IS OKAY, BUT I SEE THAT HE IS IN A LOT OF PAIN. HE IS NOT THE TYPE TO CRY, AND I HAVE ONLY SEEN HIM CRY ONCE SINCE THIS ALL CAME OUT, I KNOW FOR ME CRYING IS A RELEASE, MAYBE IF HE JUST LET GO HE CAN BEGAN TO HEAL HIMSELF. THANKS FOR LISTENING. I LOVE THIS SITE.
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