
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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I am seriously contemplating moving out of my boyfriends house (been living together for 10 years) because I just can't handle his sex addiction any longer.
I have asked him to stop masturbating to porn, chatting, emailing, surfing dating sites...blah, blah, blah, and he does for a while and then goes right back to it. No, wait a minute, last time he said he wasn't chatting, emailing or surfing dating sites. So I guess that makes it okay...RIGHT!
I'm in my late forties and don't want to be with someone that I can't trust, that says he'll change and doesn't, that I can't look at because I think of all the things he's done and said to the OW's!
Financially I'll be strapped but isn't that better than being unhappy and living a lie? I just don't understand why he doesn't want to change for good!!! Does he not love me or is he just that hooked that he can't stop?
If anyone out there has any advice on this issue or has actually moved on successfull, please, please, share with me how it's done.
Thank you...
I have asked him to stop masturbating to porn, chatting, emailing, surfing dating sites...blah, blah, blah, and he does for a while and then goes right back to it. No, wait a minute, last time he said he wasn't chatting, emailing or surfing dating sites. So I guess that makes it okay...RIGHT!
I'm in my late forties and don't want to be with someone that I can't trust, that says he'll change and doesn't, that I can't look at because I think of all the things he's done and said to the OW's!
Financially I'll be strapped but isn't that better than being unhappy and living a lie? I just don't understand why he doesn't want to change for good!!! Does he not love me or is he just that hooked that he can't stop?
If anyone out there has any advice on this issue or has actually moved on successfull, please, please, share with me how it's done.
Thank you...
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As much as you don't want to believe it, the addiction he has, has nothing to do with you or how he feels about you. And it is not your fault. If he doesn't get help, He will not change, I'm sorry. And he won't recover if he doesn't want to change. SA is one of the most horrible things to deal with, there's so much uncertainty in it, and with your future. Educate yourself on it as much as you can, and them make decisions. Good luck!
Why would she NOT want to gain extra knowledge into something she is clearly confused about?? If we don't know something about it, why wouldn't we learn??
Getting the knowledge, especially with someone with a sexual addiction, which I'm presuming you just think is a fluke " I need sex whatever whatever" thing, But it's not.
It's a skewed value system, skewed morals, skewed ability to really love himself. If anything, she'll walk away from the relationship knowing for sure, it's not her fault, or not because she wasn't pretty enough, or inadequate, etc. Which is usually the first thing a partner of a sex addiction thinks. And furthermore, knowing about sex addiction is CRUCIAL to her own healing, just like a partner of any other addiction. Atleast when she walks away, she had all the information at hand, and made the choice that fit her best.
I mean, would you tear apart an engine without ever looking at one and expect to put it back together again?
Same thing appies here, the more information you know, the better off you are. You never want to be thinking "What if..."
I'm an SA, and my wife could've very eaily walked-out of our marriage, it's easier that way. But no, she has made it her mission to learn everything that she possibly can about the addiction.
So instead of taking the easy way out and leaving, understand more, learn more, then decide.
My ex-husband was an alcoholic/addict who did get help on more than one occassion, so I am well aware of accictive behavior and the recovery process. However, if the addict does not do anything about changing then it does me no good to stay in the relationship.
He sent me an email and told me that he didn't like being "talked at" and that's what he felt like I was doing when I mentioned a men's ministry group that could help him with his problem. He said he would look into it but he didn't want me to keep nagging him about it.
So, I haven't nagged him about it or even mentioned it, but I did tell him that I couldn't stick around in a relationship based on lies and deception. Everytime I see a black women with big boobs or a sexy woman on the TV I think of what he's done. It's just so hard to deal with.
I decided to leave because I felt like this was a way out of those feelings and it would give me time to think about the relationship and what I can or cannot tolerate.
We're suppose to talk about things this weekend, but I guess I'll be the one to start the discussion because he doesn't really like talking about it. And how am I suppose to ask him if he's made any progress with the men's ministry if he handle being "talked at".
Still a bit dazed and confuzed...
I absolutely support a decision to leave, it is very painful for you and any addiction is a bitch to recover from, especially ses addiction because sex is flaunted everywhere.
What I want to say is if you are still dazed and confused I would encourage you to get counseling and/or a support group to help you get through this. Stay or leave, you need to recover from this crisis and the effect it has had on your self-esteem.
Best to you. do take care of you.
I am not an advocate of giving up, but if he wont stop the one thing that drives you crazy...Why stay?
Financial problems are not a reason to stay, get two jobs..be happy... dont let someone else drag you down.
It probably will be the best thing you ever did for YOURSELF.
Is there an easy way to transition from living together to moving out?