
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Quick synopsis: H was having an emotional affair with 2 OW at the same time for several years. I found out via incriminating email, one of which the OW who is his patient as well as employee, sent to me, I believe to start things in motion for herself with H. That was Sept 3/07.
I had him agree to call the OW who lives out of town and tell her it was over and I interviewed for a replacement for his office slut. He kept her on to finish up stuff she was doing for him and copied me on an email to her to tell her that her last day was Oct.12.
It just seemed that getting rid of her was taking too long. Yesterday I found out she still comes to the office in the morning to turn on the computers, still does his payroll and 2 days ago attended a meeting on his behalf at which another employee also attended. Why did it take 2 of them? I was so PO'd that he was still lying to me that I called her husband and had a chat, with me finding out more details of their relationship. Apparently he bought her daughter a very expensive stethoscope and on Oct 9 drove her to the airport when her dad had offered to do so. He went a little nuts telling me I had just put the last nails in his coffin because having talked to her husband he felt he might be reported to the college for inappropriate behaviour with his wife. He told me he was not going to live in fear of that happening and then left saying I would not see or hear from him again, as in suicide. He called from his office and said he was getting his affairs in order so that I would be ok financially. I called the police and they went to check on him. He told them he was in a marriage breakdown and he was not going to do anything. Then he called me and said I just made things worse by getting the police involved and he did not appreciate being interogated by a 24 year old cop. The police called me at midnight, said he was still there and he was going to get a hotel room for the night. I know he had a full morning of patients this morning so he will be busy with that until at least 1pm if in fact he is there. No one has called me looking for him so I assume he is. He also told me he knew how to do it so it looked like natural causes. Now I am just waiting to see/hear what happens this afternoon. Before he left he said that I will have to live with the responsibility of him doing this. I told him his game playing with these OW is what is responsible. My heart is pounding and I don't know what to do. The whole confrontation thing with him was just to get him to stop lying. He kept saying she was just finishing up loose ends and couldn't tell me because I was so persistent in her being gone, but one of his office girls had told me that they had all her stuff under control and couldn't understand why she was still coming in.
He had told me last night that after this weekend all her stuff would be done and she would be gone. She is out of town this weekend, so just when was this work going to get done? More lies. Crazy thing is that I still love him on some level and I don't want him to die and devastate both me and his 2 sons and the rest of the family.
He told me that doing what I did got me what I had wanted. I just wanted some truth.
I had him agree to call the OW who lives out of town and tell her it was over and I interviewed for a replacement for his office slut. He kept her on to finish up stuff she was doing for him and copied me on an email to her to tell her that her last day was Oct.12.
It just seemed that getting rid of her was taking too long. Yesterday I found out she still comes to the office in the morning to turn on the computers, still does his payroll and 2 days ago attended a meeting on his behalf at which another employee also attended. Why did it take 2 of them? I was so PO'd that he was still lying to me that I called her husband and had a chat, with me finding out more details of their relationship. Apparently he bought her daughter a very expensive stethoscope and on Oct 9 drove her to the airport when her dad had offered to do so. He went a little nuts telling me I had just put the last nails in his coffin because having talked to her husband he felt he might be reported to the college for inappropriate behaviour with his wife. He told me he was not going to live in fear of that happening and then left saying I would not see or hear from him again, as in suicide. He called from his office and said he was getting his affairs in order so that I would be ok financially. I called the police and they went to check on him. He told them he was in a marriage breakdown and he was not going to do anything. Then he called me and said I just made things worse by getting the police involved and he did not appreciate being interogated by a 24 year old cop. The police called me at midnight, said he was still there and he was going to get a hotel room for the night. I know he had a full morning of patients this morning so he will be busy with that until at least 1pm if in fact he is there. No one has called me looking for him so I assume he is. He also told me he knew how to do it so it looked like natural causes. Now I am just waiting to see/hear what happens this afternoon. Before he left he said that I will have to live with the responsibility of him doing this. I told him his game playing with these OW is what is responsible. My heart is pounding and I don't know what to do. The whole confrontation thing with him was just to get him to stop lying. He kept saying she was just finishing up loose ends and couldn't tell me because I was so persistent in her being gone, but one of his office girls had told me that they had all her stuff under control and couldn't understand why she was still coming in.
He had told me last night that after this weekend all her stuff would be done and she would be gone. She is out of town this weekend, so just when was this work going to get done? More lies. Crazy thing is that I still love him on some level and I don't want him to die and devastate both me and his 2 sons and the rest of the family.
He told me that doing what I did got me what I had wanted. I just wanted some truth.
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I'm surprised that your H has blamed you for everything. Yes we all have some responsibility in the affairs but we (the betrayed) do not force them to cheat on us. As his wife you deserve to know the truth. It sounds like he's have a tantrum and you're not playing along. Stay strong and keep calling him on his lies.
GOOD LUCK
Whatever he does, you are not responsible for. But you need to be prepared for the implosion of his career and your marriage. I'm sorry.
Good luck and keep strong
It isn't.
And that would be exactly the enablement he needs to continue his shenanigans. To find a way, however metaphysical, to blame it on you.