I am 53 years old and on june of this year I received an unsigned note in the mail telling me my husband had an affair with a co-worker. When I called him he said he did and it was ten years ago. We have been married for 32 years and in our fifth year I gave birth to a son and he died soon after birth. We grieved!! We had two little girls at home but I was just a basket case. My husband over time told me "We need life to go on". Easy I guess for him to say but I was so sad. To make a long story short he ended up having an emotional affair for two months. Just someone to talk to, someone not sad like me. When I found out I asked him to please let me know when ever he feels the need to look else where to let me know in advance so I don't look like and fool and if it ever happens again he will be gone. Now here I go again. This affair went on for one year. Through this year he met with her during their lunch hour. He said they met 12-15 times and were together each time for only 15 to twenty minutes. No phone calls at night, no phone calls on the weekend, not wanting to see her nights or weekends. He just saw her at work. The first 10 times they would sit and talk and then the next few times touching outside the clothing started. I guess through the conversation that I got from him the last time he saw her she did perform oral sex. After he left her that day he said he was scared, afraid, and shaking so bad as he drove home that the next day at work he told her that he could not continue this. The bad part for me right now is I had no clue 10 years ago that he wanted out of our marriage. I know I was busy getting one daughter out of high school and getting her to college in the fall and my oldest daughter was getting married the following year so I was busy helping her plan the wedding. But I can not believe that I saw nothing!!! And lucky me I receive a letter telling me that this affair happened ten years ago. First I have a husband who didn't tell me himself and then i suppossedly have a FRIEND who waited ten years before they thought I needed to know. I am sitting with such a broken heart and I was wondering if anyone else found out about an affair so far in the past. What did you do? How did you handle it?
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