Dreams can feel so real to me sometimes. Sometimes, it even takes a few seconds after I wake up to realize it was actually just a dream. You did nothing wrong. In fact, the fact that you've dealt with a lot in your marriage and haven't cheated on your husband shows great character and morals on your part. I'm sure you've probably heard this, but his affair is NOT your fault. My husband has 'reasons' why he cheated, you know if I hadn't been like this, he probably wouldn't have cheated, but then I realized, I had a lot to deal with in the marriage too. I could never justify cheating just because he wasn't meeting my needs or had his own problems or whatever. It was at that moment that I really understood that his affair really wasn't my fault because I was in the same marriage, had similar things to deal with as he did and I chose not to cheat. So, I know I'm rambling but I hope you understand that too because you're a great person and don't deserve to blame yourself for his actions.

I'm not sure why you feel guilty about the dream. It could just be because dreams can feel real or because it was the first time you've ever had a dream like that with someone other than your husband and you're wondering why. The important thing is that you didn't do anything wrong. I'm not sure what I can say to take your guilt away. Really though, you sound like a great person with good character and that's important. You have a lot of good reasons to be able to hold your head high.

Dreams are not controlable and many even think it is okay to day dream about other people (i'm not so sure), but in either case it is your actions that matter. Thinking about it vs doing it, is a huge difference. Your good, let the guilt go.

C,
I will say that, although you should not feel guilt, the dream could mean what you think it means. My opinion is based purely on my own experience. many, many years ago, I had a sex dream about a co-worker. I was really embarrassed, because I had to see him every morning and I thought,what if he knows? Well, he didnt, of course, but the next time we were alone, at work, we kind of bumbed into each other and walla! The sexual charge was there, for both of us! we quickly ran the other way, we both were married and we coincidently never worked alone again, just kept a little distance. I did not allow myself to fantasize, I did not look for ways to talk to him, in fact the opposite, I did have he and his wife and kids over for dinner with my H and I. It did go away. the reason it doesnt, is it gets fueled, by flirting, fantasizing and making opportunities to be together. do not yield to this, if for no other reason, than you can tell this story in 20 years and feel as good about yourself, as I do about myself.

It is perfectly understandable that you feel a void, so no picking on yourself, even giving it that much attention is too much
Good Luck

I can't believe I' going to talk about this but here goes...

I've had some amazing dreams over the years, which would make most people blush ;)

I have to say for me my dreams are a way to explore another side of who I am without being tempted to stray from what I thought was a warm and loving relationship.

My dreams always feel so real. Sometimes my hubby is in these dreams, sometimes a complete stranger, sometimes a colleague or a friend. I have no idea why, but it's always shocking when I wake up and I think to myself, oh my god did that just happen!

My hubby has laid next to me and watched me sleep on nights where I've been having the wildest sex dreams ever and when I've woken up he used to look at me and say he's never seen me so tranquil and he wishes he could have dreams like that too. But then, he used to want to replicate with me what had gone on in the dream in reality, which was even better!

I would tell him all the details of who, when, where, how unless it was someone I worked with or we both knew (there was nothing to be gained from sharing this with him and it would have upset him, even though it was just a dream).

The reason I am sharing this, is because sometimes a dream is just a dream. Sometimes you can use it to spice things up and open yourself and your hubby uo to a world of experiences that excite and titilate the both of you.

My hubby still says regardless of anything, the best sex he's ever had has been with me. No inhibition, all imagination and pure passion.

I don't feel guilty about my dreams and just enjoy every minute of them.

Thank you all for the advice and support you have given me. All of your advice has helped me realize that it was just a dream and nothing more than that. I think that I think I would have been okay with it from the start, if it had been a stranger or a face less man. But with it being with someone I know it was just to real. Any way thanks again for all the great advice and support.