This is my second time posting so bare with me. It's been a year and 3 months since d-day, and I still struggle every day to get past this and move on. We have been together 8 years, and even with what he put me through I don't look at other men I never have. Yes I thought about cheating on him after d-day to get even, but I knew if I did I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt. Anyway we have a old friend that I haven't seen in over 3 years because his wife(girl friend at the time) and my H started flirting with each other big time so I put a stop to it. Well in the last 3 weeks I have run into him twice. I have never been attracted to him, and I have only had a handful of sex dreams in my life. And those dreams have always been my H and me. But last night I had a dream that that I cheated with our old friend, I don't remember most of it but I know we had sex, and when he kissed me goodbye it was so horriable it woke me up. So now I feel guilty, it has been eating away at me all day. I can't even look my H in the eyes, and I know I can't tell him because he will throw it in my face. Why do I feel so guilty?
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