well here it is ....i am at the end my rope .....i am the cheater and and in the financial hardships we are facing counceling seems to be out of reach.....so far all she can say is "you did this to us , you get us out" well it has been 3+months and i have completely removed the OW since 3rd week. to make a long story short she went to motana from vegas and left me with no money and bills were piling up when she left .....she failed to mention money she had aquired and lost it to boot before she left. I was alone and depressed and started drinking and took a few pills.....well a mutual friend who I will label the "jomewrecking whore" showed up and took advantage of the situation.....I remember it happening but the feeling of reallity or self control were gone. we've since moved into my friends house and its gotten worse . I finally found a job and am going to scholl at the same time . so we don't have much time to talk. as bad as i want to be intimate all she can see is the other woman. as bad as I feel I refuse to take the pills i was prescribed as they put me in a bad way with control . I have apologized and layed next to her trying to prove I only want to be with her. we've talked and talked and talked and we keep talking in circles and at no point will she take responsibility for anything on the financial end. I also told her that I am not attracted nor have I ever been attracted to this hidious other woman. she really is unnattractive.(in case you were wondering) When I let her in the house I had no idea that was her agenda or I would have not let her in.....she was such a good friend and never let on her intentions. Look at the damage it has caused. She is staying with me I think only because she has nowhere to go . so should I stop talking to her and stay in my daughters room and show her what not trying is or what? Im freaking out here. I want to be her husband more than anything and cannot seem to do anyhting right. It all felt like a bad dream untill she turned up pregnant. she later had a miscarriage and lessened the severity a bit. I truly hate this other woman for thinking that a problem like this was her que to fuck shit up even more,,,,,any advice , insight , or similar situations speak up please. I want this marriage to die of old age.
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