
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

deleted_user
I see all the people on here talking about how they felt being cheated on. Do any on you take any blame for why the marriage got to that point? My husband would drink too much, treat me mean as an after effect, forget all about it the next morning. I was left to prove what a jerk he was. He would also go out with workmates till midnight or later up to 4 times a week, heavily eating and drinking. From the start of this, I told him it was a bad idea for our family for him to be gone like that. He ignored what I said for 9 months and left me alone many evenings at home with our very young daughter. Only after 9 months did he start tapering off. And it took the guys that he was going out with frequently leaving town in order for him to really quit. I wouldn't say that's taking care of your relationship or listening to your spouse when it counts. It was only after this that I started looking elsewhere for male friendship. I know I should have at this point just left the marriage if he wasn't willing to change. But I think it's wrong for the victim to have to make all the changes in their life. My husband said I should have been firmer and given him an ultimatum, why is it my job to tell him how he is to act? If I had started going out like him and he had asked me not to and said that it was bad for our family, then I would have stopped. Not 9 months later but immediately. That's who I am. Now because I messed up and cheated on him, I've had to endure so much hateful talk from him and according to him that he has the right to cheat on me and has carried that through.
I feel terribly bad for those people out there that are good people and try their best to be good to their spouses and then one day there knocked in the stomach by learning they have been cheated on. But how can someone not expect bad things to happen when you ignore your spouse for a long time and then finally decide "oh yeah maybe their right and I should pay more attention to them." Well by that time it's probably to late.
I feel terribly bad for those people out there that are good people and try their best to be good to their spouses and then one day there knocked in the stomach by learning they have been cheated on. But how can someone not expect bad things to happen when you ignore your spouse for a long time and then finally decide "oh yeah maybe their right and I should pay more attention to them." Well by that time it's probably to late.
Posts You May Be Interested In
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I don't think people should have to communicate common decent ways to treat people. Who doesn't know that it's bad to drink too much and then be honery, belligerent, and confrontational to your partner whenever the hell you feel like it? Who doesn't know that if you are coming in after midnight after drinking with coworkers and your family is asleep already several times a week, that's not a good thing.
Besides I expressed my displeasure to him many times before I made my horrible decisions.
I did not need physical attention from another; I needed someone to just plain take me serious.
So I'm not honorable because I didn't leave the marriage when he was the one creating the circumstances? I don't agree. I was lost and not being heard. Do you know how frustrating that is? Why do some get to be jerks and then think they can make up for it later?
She was also very unhappy, was horrible at communicating with me, and decided to emotionally abandon me. We were both at fault for the failure of our marriage ... but only she is to blame for HER choices to spend time away from the family and valuing freindships (either with men or women) above the marriage.
I'm sorry you have experienced backlash from your choices ... but they were YOUR choices. Your husband didn't force you to do the things you did. It was YOUR CHOICE. Take responsibility for your OWN actions and choices. Your husband may or may not take responsibility for his own choices. Trying to shift blame does not solve problems ... it only creates more.
As far as feeling repercussions for what I did, fine with me. But it can get to an abusive point. My husband would make me answer every detail about everything. He would keep me up at night for hours and not let me sleep. Sometimes he'd keep our little daughter up at the same time. He would yell 'f.. you' to me in front of her when i just calmly ask him to let us sleep because i had work the next day. Then if he finally let me go to bed at 1 am or after, then he'd wake me up an hour before i was supposed to get up to talk some more. in addition he would call me for hours at a time during the day making me talk to him. i would have to go over and over the same things again and again. no wonder i finally lost my job last week for being such a wreck there for months. i only endured this because i was beat down.
Besides I was the one at home taking care of our daughter while he selfishly went out just because he could. Are there repercussions for being an ass to your wife? Obviously infidelity is not proper punishment but what is?
why did i have to be the strong one and bust up our marriage? he would have just been mean and said i exagerated things and they weren't that bad.
i hate that i made myself a bad person because of his stubborness - there is no excuse for cheating but maybe i was 'screaming out' for him to listen to me. it was not a planned thing i know.
In my opinion, you should do some deep introspection to figure out what it is about you that led you to choose to cheat ... and based on your posts, it was was with at least two different men. It is always easy to see what the OTHER person did ... it is much harder to do the work to figure out what YOU did.
Good luck.
Well, simply, I don't believe you! You have already proven to be a liar and cheat! Even if your husband were the most abuseive monster in the world... there are alternatives to cheating! It is called DIVORCE!
I think this was a way for me to take control when i saw things being done to me that i didn't want. i hated that my husband basically scoffed at me and my pleadings with him.
i do not think cheating is right and i hate the 'hole' in my moral character that - let me go thru with this - what other explanation is there but that i'm just a bad person when it comes down to it - i hope god doesn't see me that way because i think he aslo gave me some pretty great qualities as well - i also know that cheating on my husband would be the last thing ever that i would do again - i don't care how lonely, or upset i am - i am willing to be happy on my one - he still thinks we should continue hurting each other and stay together.
why are cheaters the ultimate horrible people - top of the list. why doesn't verbal abuse and alcoholism rate right up there the same?
and abusive people are very good at controlling people - my husband always said he would stop whatever he was doing and never do it again. that always was bs until the next time he did it.
they intimidate you out of doing what is right for yourself.
cheaters don't whine - maybe they are hurt as well.