I've hit a low spot in my marriage, right now; thinking the best thing to do is divorce. While I'm thinking that, I'm asking myself, why/how did I let this happen? Why wasn't I good enough? I know it's not my fault; but, I can't help but to blame myself. I think the reason I'm blaming me is because I want to be mad at "me". That way, I'll feel I deserve this "place" that I'm at. I don't know if that's right or wrong, I think it's just the only way I can deal with my marriage being over. You see. I have 3 kids that will blame me when all is said and done, then, once again, it'll be my fault. Does this make sense to anybody or am I startin' to loose it? I want to be mad at him, and yes I am, but I'm starting to hate myself because, I allowed this to happen. Too make a long story short, my H, too, had an affair. But, I'm not leaving so much for that (yes, it is a part of it); but, it's mainly because he doesn't love me as much as other women, job, etc.... So I feel because I failed him, as a wife, he "strayed" so I'm to blame. Is this thought normal? We've been to counseling and she, also, focussed on what I needed to change to make him happy in the marriage, so, makes me wonder.
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