Sure, he may still love you... The question is, can you live life this way? He seems to want your permission to keep seeing her, which is what you are doing if you keep him in your life knowing that he is still seeing her.

Peoples feelings can get confused. If you bring another person into a relationship who knows what can happen, feelings can fly anywhere. That doesn't mean that he doesn't love you anymore. He's probably very confused. That's no excuse though! This affair that he is having is wrong and it should stop. You need to stand up for yourself and be strong. I know from personal experience that it hurts but you need to walk away if he can't make a choice. Trust me in the end you taking control of the situation will make you feel a lot better. Hang in there. I'm here if you need me...April

Thank you. I think I know deep down he's got to go. My hope is that he'll realize it's me he wants. But I think I'm hesitating kicking him out because I fear he'll find it's exactly what he wants. This bites!

If I had it to do over again I would have handled myself completely different when my H had the affair back in 2002. Although I did make him leave, I did not make him stay away. Something has dawned on me since then.. People want and desire the things they cannot have sometimes. So maybe if you make him live life without you for a while he'll realize what an ass he's been and make the right choice and be a good husband. It's a thought... *hugs*

That's exactly what I keep doing. I keep letting him come home to get a good nights sleep, etc. But he isn't completely gone. And you're right, that's exactly what I have to do. And I'm going to. You guys are great. It's amazing the strenth you get from confiding in someone - even if its anonymous online. I should of done this months ago. Thank you!

Ultimatum time- her or me and thats that im sure he wont mess you about if you mean business x

I am in the same place Sabrinale. It has been 8 months since I found out about the affair. He has moved out but sees our son when able and does some limited interactions with me as a family. He has taken me to a few events but I had a hard time not being tearful on the outing that he was gone. He is still seeing the other woman-she also works for us. He says he is trying- more than I know. He wants me to be his friend and have the rest as it is for his life. I sometimes feel like I shoud stop seeing him altogether but I think he is in a midlife crisis and needs the time alone. It's hard to know the right path but I feel in my heart he still loves me. We have children and he has always wanted to have a loving family. He said he has loved me for a long time but doesn't feel "in love" with me. I'm sure you are having these same doubts and feelings. They seem to change every day. The best advice I've recived is-don't react to they're hurt, listen to them and then decide what you want to do. Hope things get better. I will be interested in hearing more about your journey as it seems to be paralleling mine.

I can only tellyou what happened to me, and you H might be different. I told him if you want to be with her then go ... and he did and it hurt like hell....1 week later he told me he new he had made the biggest mistake of his live and that he wants to come home and we are trying to work things out. it has only been three month so I dont know if we will make it...but I agree with the others. this is all about yoy. can you share him or not? Will it hurt more to not have him at all or to know he is sleeping with her at the same time? I am sorry you are going through this

Yes he can still love you. But it sounds like he loves himself more. I have found out that just because they have affairs doesn't mean they had been unhappy with the spouse. They had been unhappy with themself and a "whore" feeds the ego of a man with low self esteem. If he's still seeing her and telling you he loves you find out why, see if he'll talk about it. Good Luck.