If he's not physically cheating, he's certainly emotionally cheating on you. He's already lying and hiding things. If he hasn't slept with her yet, he most likely will very soon. If you confront him, he'll deny it and lie right to your face. Either that, or he'll make it out to be innocent and how dare you be checking up on him and why don't you trust him. He'll be even more careful after that to make sure you don't find out. I'd say keep a printout with all of the phone calls to that particular number highlighted. I'd then keep my eyes open for when he says he's working late or has to go somewhere or something. Then maybe you can get more proof. I'm sorry you're going through this. My husband cheated after 19 years and 2 kids, and even though I had some proof, he denied it, explained it all away (badly), and made me out to be the bad guy for going through his stuff. It was a month later that I found proof he couldn't explain away.

What would be the best way of confronting him???

Hi girl.. unfortuately, this hits WAY too close to home. Me- married 17 years too (had problems/never thought anything would come between us..best friends), kids- 16,15, &12. Cell phone was the means of method used. Now, my H works w/ the OW, not sure about yours. One other thing you should check are the text messages. THAT is what increased our phone bills; there were hundreds and hundreds of them all day/night. Phone conversations were hours long. Cell phone was never laying around, always on silent. Yes, confront him; you need no more "proof". What he is doing is crossing the line with another women. If a H (or W) needs to find companionship or support from someone other than their spouse and it continues and they have to hide it; then that is when we call it infidelity. Yes, he will make it out to be innocent; but, you know as well as I..it is not. I, like you, pray that talking is as far it got. If this IS innocent, he will understand when you show him/tell him what you "see" and he will stop. No matter what, there's betrayal here..he's spending time with someone else AND that someone else is of the opposite sex. He's giving attention to someone else, that belongs to you. No matter what, you will have doubts now.. for a long time. Stay with us.. DS will help you through.

he's cheating.... trust me-men do not like to have hours of phone conversation.... he's motivated by somethin else. Think about it ....in all the years that you have known him has ever spent hours on the phone talking to anyone? Maybe you-when you were first dating?
Now, the problem is how and when to confront him. Keep copies of the cell phone records.I'm sure that he is emailing her as well. Do you know his password? can you find it out? typically people use the same password for bank account emails ,credit card emails etc. that's how i got my husband's. If you can't get the password there is alot of spyware that you can use. There have been people on DS in the discussions talking about that a few weeks ago...
Before you confront make sure you have concrete evidence because he will probably deny everything....
I wouldn't say anything to him at all right now-just be vigilant. Chances are it is someone from work-it often is... Gather your evidence, then have a plan, what will you say and do if he really is having a full blown affair?

I just found out the name and phone # of the OW and get this. He has been talking about getting a car for our son. Amazingly enough he finds one that a woman at work has, (she works on the opposite shift as him) and they are willing to drive it up to his work and drop it off for him to test drive. When I asked him whose car and where they live. Guess what????? Same address and same first name as the one I found, just different last names.

I forgot to mention that I had a Dr's appt yesterday and didn't tell him I was coming home first. When I go there his truck was there but he was gone. Didn't answer his phone or text that I sent. He called me about a half hour later and said that a "friend" had picked him up an taken him to look at the car.

He is cheating... my only recommendation is to do some m ore digging and snooping prior to confronting. Once the cat is out of the bag, he will go into lock-down mode and getting info will be rough. Like CAM1129 said, if he is not physically cheating, he is being emotionally unfaithful which is just as bad. I hope I am wrong for your sake, but do some homework for your own sanity.

PS. I've been married 18years with 5 kids and my wife is now been cheet (emotional) for 6 mos with a woman. I've known for 2 months but still do not know extent... lock down mode. So do homework and then lay it out! Good Luck!

Boy I can relate! I discovered my wife's affair through the phone records. For two months straight they averaged over 3 hours a day. SHe said it was just two friends commiserating. It started as an emotional affair and it became physical even though they were 700 mile away. Unfortunately sneaking around and hiding phones and trying to hide calls is deception and deception is a serious sign of infidelity.

Sounds good in theory. But how do I do that and not act any different towards him??? He texts me and tells me that he loves me and misses me but I can go on-line and check his phone log and see that right after or before he sends me a text, he has been talking to her. Is this a guilty conscience talking??? or what???

jrsygrl13 said:
he's cheating.... trust me-men do not like to have hours of phone conversation.... he's motivated by somethin else. Think about it ....in all the years that you have known him has ever spent hours on the phone talking to anyone? Maybe you-when you were first dating?

I have to disagree. Men who are cheating LOVE to have long phone conversations- I can give you the number of my wife's lover and you can ask him!! :)

I agree Waverly...that's what I meant-the ONLY reason a man would spend hours on the phone is if he were cheating....he's not discussing the latest fashions or gossiping about Britney Spears! It's phone sex....flattery....plans.... unfortunately. But, just like everyone says. You need more proof to back up your accusation. If you know her name and address, drive by when he's not home to see if his car is parked at her place... is she a co-worker? Is he on the computer also? you could get a key logger for that.
But...also remember you need a plan-what will you say when you confront him? Are you prepared to throw him out? Demand he stop all contact and begin marriage counseling? You have to decide before hand and then stick to it if you want any chance of things working out.

WOW, same story. I noticed cell bill quite a bit higher. I confronted him right away, denied it all away... just friends, co-worker, not interested, would never do anything to hurt marriage. Promised to stop talking to her. Every month, bill came same thing. He was hiding his phone, sneaking off when we were together to make phone calls. We started going to counseling (to deal with his boundary issuse) insisting just friends! 4 mos of listening to his stories (yes I was stupid!) but I wanted to believe him. I finally called her and she was surprised to find out we weren't getting divorced! I thought they were only talking too, I thought I knew where he was all the time and who he was with. He took her away for a weekend (with another friend), met her after a class he was taking, took her out when he was supposed to be at work, lots of overtime, supposed golf game w/friend, lots of overtime. She told me they had been together for 6 mos. I was searching all sorts of things.
The "friend" before this one 3 years ago I also confronted, she knew he was married and didn't care, she wasn't any help- refused to admit or deny anything. And because she didn't confirm, he never has either.
Not sure if any of this helps, hang in there.

Last night I almost broke down.

He had to work this morning and went to bed early, when I went in to tell him goodnight, he was using his cell phone. So I just pretended that I didn't see it. I noticed before that he was trying to hide sending text messages while I was sitting beside him.

I went to bed about a half hour later and his was still texting. So he gets up a little after that and goes to the living room "because he can't sleep" I waited a little while, then followed. He STILL had the phone. He won't leave it laying anywhere.

We played this little game until about 12:30 this morning when I gave up. I guess I should have confronted him then, but I just didn't have the heart to get into anything with him, especially when I had to be up at 6am to get myself and the kids ready for work and school.

Is there anyway to find out the numbers that someone is texting to??????

I know I'm late. you just lay it out for him that you think he's cheating. theres no easy way to do this. I just ask my husband when I got the test results that he had gave me two std's from a one night stand he had with a female. and of course he said that i must have got it from outside ha! I just sit down with the test paper in my hand and when he came home. he said whats wrong I said. do you love me he said yes of course I said well maybe you can tell me how the hell I got two stds. and the look on his face was priceless. and then I knew that he had cheated. and then I told him oh and plus I'm carrying your baby.and I walk out, there is no easy way just say it