
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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I am having serious issues with my husband at first I felt like all I wanted was him, I wanted him to love me and only me I wanted to be at his side every second of the day, its been a month and a half now and the more time goes the worse I feel the more I think about everything the more I wonder why he would do this to me and I just can not get past that, I know that everyone has there own sort of problems but this problem of feeling like I will never believe another word out of his lying mouth or ever trust him ever again is killing me with out trust and with out being able to believe the other person there just isn't anything left of our marriage, I often wonder if its worth it to stick it out and try and trust and believe him again but I really don't think I can. Do I forgive him for the pain he has put me through again no I don't do I feel I will ever forgive him at this point in life no I don't. Is it really worth torchering him and me being torchered because I can not get everything he has done to me out of my head I can not live like this. I have talked to him about just getting it over with so we can both move on but he keeps telling me that he wants to work things out but yet he wants me to get out of my shell and just forget everything that happened and move on like a happy couple I don't feel like a happy couple and I don't feel like I can ever be happy again.
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They don't want to deal with all the emotions of the situation, or the questions or the if ands or buts because its hard work. Seems like mine can't handle the hard work like he said he could.
I don't know. I feel like if they were TRULY commited to making this work, being happy again, loving us wholly(is that a word) we would feel it.
I know it's a long road-reconcilliation and recovery but I don't think it's supposed to feel like this.
I'd like to here from the people who are further along, to see if this is normal.
*Sorry, I know I was 0 help*
It will always be there for you - that is what the cheater did. THEY did it. You arent doing it or holding onto it. They dumped it on you and you cant get rid of it. It's permanent.
If that means it's always there for them - then they did that too - not you.
If you stay together - it will always be there. It may get better, be easier, you may think of it much less often - but it will be there.
If you dont stay together - it will STILL be there for you - whether you are in a relationship or not. If you get in another relationship with someone else - it will still be there for you and now in your new relationship - it will effect you and your relationships for the rest of your life. Because it cant just go away. Its a scar. You cant get rid of it.
The cheater needs to understand that - accept it - take responsability for it - and deal with it.
The one cheated on has to deal with it - they have NO choice. The cheater made that choice, and now they want the one cheated on to "clean it up" and take it away - they try to put responsability onto the one cheated on.
It doesnt work that way. It cant.
THEY did it, not you.
The other thing that helped me feel better was an article that I read about infidelity. It said one of the most harmful things we do is to question whether we want it to work or not. Instead, if conditions are right with both parties, focus on what can you do to fix the marriage and make it last. For some reason, it made a lot of sense to me. I decided to follow that path and in doing so, took myself out of limbo. I'm not doubting whether I want my marriage or not anymore. I do want it and I'm going to do everything I can to make it exactly the marriage I've always wanted and never had. Of course it takes two and I'll have to see how he does. I'm not willing to settle again. Hopefully, painfully slowly, we will rebuild trust.
I still don't trust him, don't forgive him yet, and am not totally convinced that we can make it better. But I will never know what we can or can't be if I don't try. I do know that.
My husband has been so good and patient with me, that helps I know. He wants to make things better and that is at least a start. He acknowledges his problem and is working on his issues. This is not the first affair, the first was emotional and this one physical but more emotional. But with the first, he didn't want to accept blame, now he is. I think that is a positive sign.
I know that I will have bad days along with the good, but for now, I am finally enjoying the good. 6 weeks today and the first Friday I didn't start to panic at 11:41. Thats the first step. I cut 4 inches off my hair today and am buying a new car. Hello to the new and improved me (for today anyway).