Statistics say no...such relationships usually don't work. The fantasy is just that...it is a fantasy. Eventually, the truth will sink in and they realize that the new woman is not perfect, either. Then, who do they have to blame? They can't blame themselves...there must be someone else out there. The cycle continues.

Mine didn't want out of the marriage until he and OW got caught and she lost her home and had two kids to support. He felt guilty and left to support her and rub it in my face saying it was my fault for "digging" or we would still be married. And ya know what? I have discovered since his first marriage? Same thing, however that wife chose alcohol and pills to deal and be able to stay. I chose to investigate and bust his butt. He didnt have the affair to get out of a marriage-he had the affair cuz it was his co-worker, his partner and it was easy. They are now stuck with each other and I look forward to the day it ends. Both cheated and have cheated on their 1st spouses. They are #3 for each other. It won't work. Guarantee.

An "exit affair" is a real phenomenon, but it is not the most common. Most want to stay with their spouses and regret their straying. Statistics for a second marriage are even worse than for the first.

I had 3 counselors tell me my H had the affair and confessed, (I would have never known about it) because he wanted out of the marriage.
He told me our marriage was over was part of the reason he had the affair and he didn't want to grow old in a loveless marriage like his father was. I had NO clue he was even unhappy let alone didn't love me. The books I have read say the same as well as couples with teenagers and long term marriages are the LEAST likely to survive.

It took him about 12 hours after the confession to decide if he wanted to stay and end it with the OW. It took several days before he could tell me he was willing to do what ever it took to TRY to rebuild. But he continued to lie to me about what really happened in the affair and he kept making contact with her. Little by little a new truth comes out each week. He still hides his business phone and laptop. So who knows if he's just buying time until I've had enough and he can walk away THINKING he tried and not feel guilt for what he has done.

Exit affairs are not as common, pianogirl is correct, but the happen. I have wondered often and aloud to my husband, as he has done so many "stupid" things that have made what could have been perhaps resoved , into something it would take Hudiny (sp?, a magician) to untie! It is so hard to believe I married a man with an IQ of 60! He just never seemed that stupid before.

Many people have and still, including him, try to convince me otherwise. Most people believe his devotion and love are for me.?????

I DO know that if he doesnt unravel this knotted rope, than neither of us will be able to stay in the marriage.

I guess an exit affair is one where he exits or you do?

Not always true...My husband is still with me, He never lefted me. He swear's up & down that it was just the trill of getting a stranger and a low life to spread her legs. He has stopped all contact...He never did leave me for any on of his whores (3) he just waited until I was out of town. but the minute I got back they had been history.

Most affairs are not based in reality. They are an exscape. But I have meet individuals who have flirted with the idea of an affair in the hopes that the wife will kick them to the curb. Simply put he's too chicken to make the first real move. Also, once the affair is put to the daily stressors of reality it should crumble. The "whore" may not be a perment fixture but the damage left in the wake of the affair sure is. Good luck