Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

3,362 Members
17,616 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Infidelity Support Group

i want to die right now

deleted_user
deleted_user
long story short. my husband set up an account on hornymatch.com and i got into it. he sent out 61 e-mails "looking to hook up." 3 of them were sent to men, stating he was "bi-curious". i printed them out. he did this when he was home on his r&r, when we were supposed to be working things out. he sent them out early in the morning when i was asleep. he sent them to people from our home state, and people around here. i confronted him and he denies, denies, denies. there are pictures of penis for Christ sake! he says someone hacked into his e-mail to set up the account. i know how ridiculous he sounds. there is too much he sent out that corresponds with his r&r. for example, one girl he was talking to was from Garmisch. he said that he just got back from there. which we did. we took that trip to work on things and get away. i hate him.
he pleads his innocence and his love for me, but he just changed the pw to our bank account. i married a sick sadist son of a bitch. i want to slice him from neck to nuts right now. he better be fucking glad he is in Iraq. i am sooooo sad and i know what i have to do. i just want to crawl under a rock right now and die. i don't deserve this, not at all.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You're right, you don't deserve this. At the same time, you deserve a fulfilling life, which I think is possible to have. We're here to support you.
brneyes
brneyes
He is not worth it. You deserve better than that. I know how it feels to want to hurt them physically the way they have hurt us emotionally. For me I have two kids and don't want to go to jail so hurting him physically is out of the question. I did dream up some pretty creative ways-too bad I can't try them out. Ha Ha just dreaming, I'm not usually a violent person. I tend to be loving and caring but an affair turns your life upside down. Good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so sorry! I know exactly what it feels like to have that happen. You don't deserve to be treated this way and I'm so sorry that there are people out there that do this to others. You will be fine though. You will move on with your life and will not always feel this anguish. If there's anything I can do, or if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. ((((HUGS))))
deleted_user
deleted_user
Girl you need to contact your FSG...or the deployment specialist or Jag, because you are entitled to BAH, that is money you guys get for you !! Copy all of the pictures of him on a data stick and have it ready, if you have pictures of him that will not look very good when Jag see's it, after all he is a G.I. Like I told you I would have brought every Army person in on this if I knew my husband had been screwing around on me when he did. He is so lucky he waited until his retirement to spill his guts. Maybe that's why he waited? HMMMM
deleted_user
deleted_user
You don't deserve to be treated like this at all, my god I would like to chop his dick of he pissed me off and I don't even know him, but I know what you are going through. Stay strong, and know you have a lot of people here that support you and feel your pain. Your not alone, if you need anything please write to me.
Shadowdancer40
Shadowdancer40
Sometimes we do not know how to do what we KNOW or feel that we should do. Pain, fear and anger rule us. We all must go through these feelings but we have the power to "take back our lives". We have the power to move forward and overcome our pain. But there is not set time. We can not compete with others trying to "get over" things and "move on" when we are not through grieving. You have expressed your feelings well. Your anger,sadness and hurt are very much justified. Let it out! We are here to listen and support one another. You are grieving and in pain to the point were you feel the pain will kill you. But it WON'T sistah. It just FEELS like it will. I am reaching out to you....give me your hand. You are beautiful, you are woman, you are stronger than you think. You do not need to crawl under that rock. I will hold your hand. I am here.
special3
special3
I know someone who's H cheated when they were first married. He realized how he hurt her, and 25 years later she found out he was sleeping with men. Many - many one night stands over those 25 years. In his sick way of thinking,if he was with men he was not going to hurt her! In the end, he died from AIDS. I would say pack your bags and run while you can! You deserve a better life!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know what you are feeling. Im so sorry I would never wish that pain on anyone. I think at this point just like me you have to make a choice of working things out or leaving which are both hard as hell. Word to the wise any password changes means he's hiding something I have had plenty of experience with that. Do what is best for you. Love is not suppose to hurt!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hang in there. Let off steam, but don't do anything stupid to yourself or to him - you will regret it later. Run around the block. Go to a secluded park and scream your guts out. Go for a trial membership at a boxing gym and let loose on the speed bag. I remember those first few days after I found out. I had so much rage in my body, I felt it was going to kill me. I could actually hear the blood pumping through my veins - it was so loud! Don't crawl under a rock. Take time to meditate by yourself - do something you haven't done in years - eat an entire chocolate cake. You will find help here, and support. Come back as often as you need. There's always someone here. Feel free to contact me, if you want. You have my full support. Just be smart and kind to yourself! Namaste.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Nobody deserves any of the shit our spouses put us through with infidelity. I agree with tearful. Copy everything you can off the computer and keep for future reference. I don't know who he should fear more...the roadside bombs or you!!! You go, girl...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know someone whose husband did the same thing! she found ads for men and he said someone hacked into his computer.

she is getting an annulment based on fraud. I think there is some rule that says if you are homosexual or bi-sexual you must tell your bride to be..before the marriage.

I am so sorry. You must be devastated. I know how you feel, different situation, same devastation
blarney
blarney
I know how you feel,srsnds, unfortunately. The internet played a huge part in my H's affairs. It made it so easy for him to live another life...he became a person that I did not know at all. Your husband sounds so similar. My husband also joined a "dating website" and at least met up with 4 women over 6 years. When I first found out about this, I knew that our marriage was over. However, we did decide to go for counselling and based on what the counselor says, this is so prevalent(being caught up on the internet). I'm still not sure what is going to happen with us. My husband is so remorseful(of course) who wouldn't be after being caught like he was. I know the embarasment, pain, humiliation and fear that goes along with this kind of affair. I can only hope the best for you as you sort through your next steps......be strong..it is life changing but you can do it. If you need to talk..please contact.
humbledvirginian
humbledvirginian
you are worth it and you deserve better
deleted_user
deleted_user
he is still denying it. he said the only thing he did wrong was when he first cheated. this is killing me. he is crying, begging for me not to leave him. i told him to get proof that he was hacked into. i know his myspace was hacked into at the time, but someone would do all of this? i dont know what to do. i am just heartbroken and devistated.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry that you are going through that. LEAVE him and do NOT look back.

The infidelity with a woman is awful and that alone requires leaving so that we can treat ourselves with DIGNITY and SELF-LOVE and SELF-RESPECT. However, the issue of trying to connect with other men for sex is EVEN WORSE!

You have the strength in you to leave. Trust in yourself. You are the ONLY thing you have, and that is MORE than enough to get through life -- trust me on this statement!
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • joannklingaman

    Grief

    Posted by: joannklingaman
    Last Reply: MrsMorris
    9
    A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
  • ainteasybeineazy

    It's my Birthday and no one cares

    Posted by: ainteasybeineazy
    Last Reply: R_ashwin
    58
    Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...