I've been married 23 years. Last year my husband and I, along with my daughter (32 years old) moved from our home in NJ, a little house that I loved in a great neighborhood after living there 17 years, had a house sale and sold almost everything, quit our jobs (he was unhappy with his job and "had to get out") and moved to Florida to buy a small store on the beach and live in a condo, also on the beach. Sounds like a plan, huh? It was great until I saw him texting night after night after I went to bed. He LOVINGLY reassured me and told me it was a guy friend from NJ who now works night shift. But that didn't explain why we would quickly hide the phone if he saw me. After 4 months of lies, I eventually found out that he had been having an affair with a woman from Philly (1 hour away from our old house) for 2-1/2 years! Also, from looking in the computer files, I saw that he was registered on several singles adult websites, and at least one had his profile which said "looking for a discreet relationship" within 50 miles of our old zip code. This started in 2002. That's five years. This is a man who I believed would NEVER have hurt me. I had been on dialysis for a few years and had only been in FL for 3 weeks when I was finally called for a kidney transplant. When I came back home, however, my husband was distant, cold and mean. I didn't realize that he and his girlfriend were planning a meeting down here. Apparently, he had tried to break up with her in Jan. 06 and then when we left Jersey in May 06, but when they found out she was coming to Orlando for a convention in October, they were ecstatic. He had over 60 naked pictures of himself in his phone which he would send to her. And she also sent pictures to him. I found them in his phone. He was so mad at me! He packed his bags numerous times because he said he couldn't trust me any more. I could go on, but there isn't enough space! I am so hurt I can't believe it. My daughter and I are now living in the condo and I just put it on the market. I want to go back to CT where my family lives, but now he wants to go to counseling and has joined AA. I'm happy he's in AA now but I don't feel this excuses what he did and the lies and hurtful things he said during the last 4 months. I'm on a merry go round where I can't make up my mind. I know I'll never trust him again - he never admitted anything. He only lied over and over again. I'll probably get a divorce. But I miss the man I thought he was - he was the source of comfort for me for so many years. Now I have no one to give me that level of comfort I so desperately need. Anyone else going through this?
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