
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

deleted_user
It's has been months since I have posted on here. Sorry I have not been here to support you all. I think my marriage has come to an end. We have decided to separate after the holidays. We want to wait until then for the kids. I remember when my parents told me. It ruined that time of year for a long time for me. I won't do that to my kids.
We gave it a good try. My W wants nothing more than to be with me. I just can't accept what she has done. It's not in me. I really tried.
I so didn't want this for my kids. I was raised in a broken home. I didn't want that for them. My W and I used to talk about it all the time. I think that makes me madder than anything. She knew what the consequences were.
Sorry to dump on all of you. I hope you are doing better than me.
Take care all.
Kevin
We gave it a good try. My W wants nothing more than to be with me. I just can't accept what she has done. It's not in me. I really tried.
I so didn't want this for my kids. I was raised in a broken home. I didn't want that for them. My W and I used to talk about it all the time. I think that makes me madder than anything. She knew what the consequences were.
Sorry to dump on all of you. I hope you are doing better than me.
Take care all.
Kevin
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If this is going to make you happy, and find some sort of peace with it all...then go for it. And I wish you the best of luck.
Being divorced, with kids, is not easy either. Maybe you could find the single parenting community helpful!
How did I know it was the right decision and the right time to make the decision? I didn't!! I don't think you will ever truly know if it's right or not. At least maybe not for a few years. I second guess my decision everyday.
I guess what I am saying is that it's very hard to know if you are making the right decisions through all of this. Emotions are evrywhere. Only you will know what is best for you.
Sorry if this wasn't much help. I'm not doing well today.
Kevin
Sorry to hear about where you are at. Its reall difficult to deal with.
When I went through the stage your'e at, the following things influenced my decision to have a go at reconciliation:
1) In divorce guys tend to get the raw end of the deal and less than equal parenting of their kids. In most cases the guy loses out and some other schmuck ends up as the day to day father figure to your kids.
2)Marriage isn't all about love between the husband and wife. Its also an incredibly efficient system for raising kids, offers incredible synergies in financial terms, and is the accepted system in all religous faith's.
3)In many cultures the love bit is no where near as important as in ours. (ie: arranged marriages in India)
4)The marriage is severely traumatised, but if everyone including extended family is committed to rebuilding it then there is hope.
5)The emotions you are feeling will simmer down and greatly reduce over time (1-2 years)
6)You can always divorce later.
I understand your place right now, because I have thought about ending my marriage, but at least, I don't have small children... Our children are 35 and 32 years old...
The very best to you and lots of hugs!!
I've been where you are- we all have. I am so so sorry you don't feel you can forgive her & move on. In my situation forgiveness was the first thing I did. The truth is I never stopped loving my H no matter how much he hurt me. It's been 27 months since I found out about his affair & almost two years since we reunited. No, for me things will never be the same again but it can be better if we both try. I can't imagine a life w/out him in it. God bless you & I will be praying for you. If you have faith God can move mountains. No one's a saint & I'm glad I had the courage & the faith to give my H a second chance. I don't think he would have taken me back if i had of been the one who cheated. His ego wouldn't have allowed it. Have a great Holiday season w/ your children. Who knows what might happen. Ever heard of miracles?
I choose to stay and eventually even forgave her and she cheated four years later and left me.....big time damage,that was just over a year ago and I am still a mess,lost my career and heading for divorce
I think we can only go with our instincts. If my husband can follow through on his promises before the date I have set, then we will make it. But if he cannot, I will leave. it is hard to do either but one can only give it the time we feel comfortable with.
Someone said, it will feel better, after a year or two. It has been two years now for me. At first, I thought I could not stay for evn 6 months! I am better but not better enough to say I will stay. time helps but does not always heal. In your case, you are better off deciding when you are of the frame of mind to do sp/. Otherwise, it will be harder to leave and as the writer above me said, it may happen again and although I think that the 2nd time will be easier, most here have said it is much harder.
I do wish you well and you can be a parent to your children. My son, who I am sad to say, had an affair, was unable to make it work with his ex-wife. she is a wonderful wopman and the children spend half time with her and half time with him. They choose to live a mile apart, a half a mile from the schools, either way, and the children are very well adjusted. It does require more communication with the ex but my son did not want to lose them. I AM proud of him for that.
Take care and dont accept less than you really want.