
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

deleted_user
I'm sure I can find someone here who can tell me that I am absolutely the most horrible of women because I am in the midst of an affair, an affair that I defy anyone to please, tell me, why it is the most unforgiveable thing in the whole world that the last, and only, time; that I have ever actually enjoyed sex, was when I was 15 years old (hmm, 45 now)and I find someone who makes me feel just as good (or normal, if you'd rather) as I did back then...oh, and by the way, did I mention this was pretty much just after I was raped at 14? Anyway, finding this person...completely not looked for nor sought after, and completely out of the blue...please tell me how incredibly heinous it is to have finally found this feeling again? Yes, I've been married for 25 years, and to the one of the finest men you could ever hope to meet...however my marriage has never actually been of a sexual nature but rather more of a heart/soul connection. I will admit that this is partly because we started our family almost immediately after we got married, and we had only known each other for 7 months before we did get married. I had, I guess, unconciously accepted that enjoying and liking sex was just not going to happen for me, and it really didn't matter a whole lot in the long run. I gave my marriage everything that I was (considering that who I was, was actually a very stunted young woman, please read my journal for enlightenment)and I game even more than that to my children, and now those children have grown, and this situation has happened. I apologize because I'm somewhat drunk at the moment, and that's why this sounds like a pity party but I really didn't know how important it can be. I am in counseling at the moment and I realized that my marriage was over before I even started. I have had two one night stands over the length of this marriage and was told that no. 1: if it happened again it was over and; no. 2: if I felt like that again to just tell him before it happened. Well, I didn't do that, obviously. I could tell you it's because I didn't want to hurt him, and that would certainly be true, but at the same time, it really did come so out of the blue and my reaction to the seduction was so immediate and powerful...I've realized that I need a physical connection and I certainly have this with the OP and not only that, well..if you read my journal entries you will know...I am in the caretaker kind of mode, I suppose. Please don't judge me.
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Please think about other people instead of yourself. You're destroying people and you don't care because of exciting, dangerous sex. That's not judging you. That's what you've told us. Please stop this destructive behavior.
If your marriage has not been as sexually charged as you may have wanted it to be, maybe you should put the energy you have in this affair into your marriage and made it that.
The things you have said is the cowards way out of dealing with the issues in your marriage. I am sure if the shoe was on the other foot, you would be here ranting about the pain it has caused you instead of validating your reasons.
Wake up and see the light and get out of your pity party for yourself. You made a promise in your vows. Think about what those promises ment and mean to your husband and what they ment to you at the time.
DID YOU EVER CONSIDER GOING TO A THERAPIST THAT SPECIALIZES IN SEX THERAPY ? IF SEX WORKS WITH THE AFFAIR PARTNER IT COULD WORK WITH YOUR HUSBAND....ITS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE..... ITS JUST TECHNIQUE.....IF ITS A PSYCHOLOGICAL BLOCK WITH YOU...THEN THAT SHOULD BE ADDRESSED. YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAY MARRIED THIS WAY-NOT FAIR TO ANYONE....YOU CANNOT CONTINUE IN AN ILLICIT AFFAIR WITH A MARRIED MAN EITHER, IF THAT IS WHAT IS HAPPENING.
GOING TO THERAPY IS A START. YOU SHOULD STOP ALL CONTACT UNTIL YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.... WOULD YOU WANT TO MARRY THE AFFAIR PARTNER? DO YOU REALLY KNOW HIM? IS ALOT OF THE ATTRACTION THE SECRECY? OR IS THERE MORE? ARE YOU COMPATIBLE IN OTHER WAYS? HAVE YOU EVEN ASKED? HAS HE HAD OTHER AFFAIRS WITH MARRIED WOMEN IN THE PAST? dO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIS PAST?ONE OF MY FRIENDS SAYS....BE CAREFUL ABOUT ROMANTICISING THE AFFAIR GUY.....AFTER YOU GET MARRIED HE OFTEN TURNS INTO THAT SAME OLD HUSBAND ,IN HIS BOXERS, WITH THE REMOTE CONTROL AND BEER IN FRONT OF THE TV.....NOT AS INTERESTED IN SEX AND ROMANCE ONCE THE MYSTERY AND NEWNESS WEARS OFF....AND ...HE MAY HAVE ALOT OF HIS OWN BAGGAGE THAT HE IS BRINGING WITH HIM.....SO THINK CAREFULLY ABOUT HOW YOU WANT TO PROCEED. MOST OF ALL STOP DOING ANYTHING THAT IS POTENTIALLY HURTFUL TO ANYONE-YOUR HUSBAND, YOUR KIDS, THE OM'S WIFE AND FAMILY...ITS NOT JUST ABOUT YOU TWO...TRUST ME....AN AFFAIR HURTS SO MANY PEOPLE.IT EVEN HURTS NEICES, NEPHEWS, GRANDPARENTS, YOU ARE NEVER VIEWED THE SAME WAY BY ANYONE....BECAUSE LIES AND BETRAYAL ARE JUST NOT THE RIGHT WAY TO PROCEED... YOU CAN GET DIVORCED AND ITS PAINFUL AND SAD BUT AN AFFAIR IS DEVASTATING....SO COOL YOUR JETS AND REALLY THINK. MAYBE THE BEST WOULD BE TO SEPERATE FROM YOUR HUSBAND,LIVE ON YOUR OWN FOR AWHILE AND REALLY FIGURE OUT WHO YOU ARE... BE KIND TO YOUR HUSBAND IF HE REALLY DOESN'T DO IT FOR YOU AND LEAVE.....AT LEAST FOR AWHILE....BUT DON'T JUMP INTO THE ARMS OF THIS OM TOO QUICKLY BECAUSE EVENTHOUGH YOU THINK YOU KNOW HIM...TRUST ME YOU DON'T....WORK ON BECOMING A BETTER YOU FIRST.