
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

deleted_user
I have been with my SO for seven years, engaged and living together for a lot of that time. She got a new job in May and suddenly she sort of dropped out of my life. By that I mean she stopped emailing me, forgot my birthday (or ignored it), started getting really concerned about her privacy, started working late and didn't seem very interested in us. I finally started noticing signs that she was having sex with someone also. My efforts to confront her and talk about what was going on met with a stone wall of denial and I finally gave up asking. I sought counseling and continue to see one.
She quite suddenly came back to the relationship one day about a month ago, as if nothing had happened. Loving, talkative and completely involved with me once again, but she still insists that nothing happened. I don't know what was going on exactly (though I suspect) and I really don't know if whatever was going on has ended. I'm very confused, we share so many things; our respective children, grandchildren and interests that it's difficult to imagine my life without her. Any ideas where I should go from here? Or should I just run as fast as I can? Very upset and confused here.
She quite suddenly came back to the relationship one day about a month ago, as if nothing had happened. Loving, talkative and completely involved with me once again, but she still insists that nothing happened. I don't know what was going on exactly (though I suspect) and I really don't know if whatever was going on has ended. I'm very confused, we share so many things; our respective children, grandchildren and interests that it's difficult to imagine my life without her. Any ideas where I should go from here? Or should I just run as fast as I can? Very upset and confused here.
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I always find advice for people in your situation to be more difficult. You're not married. So, in one respect, she's still entitled to her privacy about some things. I would hope that she will be able to completely share her life with you. Tell her that you want to know what she was going through. Maybe she was just having doubts about your relationship and she needed a little space. Of course, you could also be right about an affair. Regardless, you need to be able to communicate openly and honestly.
If you decide you MAY want to give this a chance, and from the sound of your post, you do want this to work, then you have to INSIST that she tell you WHAT THE HELL happened, why she disappeared, and why she thinks it is ok to just pop back into your life. (because she knows you love her, but what about HER love and respect for YOU?)
She may not have cheated, but in any case, she HIGHLY disrespected you and you twos life together. Do you want that in a partner?
She never disappeared physically overnight or anything, just emotionally, like on my birthday it was like her mind was completely on something or somebody else. When I mentioned my birthday she didn't act sorry or surprised, she promised to take me to a nice restaurant the following weekend to celebrate. She forgot that too.
You know, each of these incidents alone could have been dismissed, but all lumped together in one summer, well it makes me seriously wonder. But still no real proof, and she has nothing to say about any of it. This is made even more confusing by the fact that she has been very loving the past month or so while there are still some signs that something could be going on. Like I said, very confusing and upsetting.
but what BetrayedA wrote. Do
you deserve to be treated this
way. Why after 7 years have
you both not married eachother?
Most commited women want
marriage, if they truely Love You and respect you as a man.
What's up with that?
I especially agree with BetrayedA's comments on her
reply to you. Shell48