No sharp objects at all. And thought you have feelings keep this in mind:

You developed feelings for a man whom you were led to believe was available to reciprocate feelings freely and without consequence.

This guy has lied to you for this year by not telling you he is married.

You are NOT the other woman since you did not know he was married.

If you continue the relationship now knowing that he is married and the possible hurt and pain this can cause people beyond the two of you, than you would be the other woman.

Don't be the other woman. I know there are feelings, but is a man who A) emotionally cheats on his wife, and B) has already proven himself to be a liar to you, worth your affections and energy.

YOu deserve better.

thank you for your comments, they help.

i know it's unhealthy, but i've been down lately, because i have an abusive boyfriend.

this guy is nothing but nice to me, like an outlet, and i've told him everything personal about me.

there's some emotional connection.

Your connection may feel real and may be hard for you to lose, but it's a connection based on lies. Is pretending to be available when he's not "nice?" I don't think so. I think of that as cruel. Get away from both him and your abusive boyfriend. You are a person of worth and value and integrity. You deserve so much better.

thank you for your kindness.

Ayngel- I have said this so many times before on this site. You have been a gift right now by being able to see this guys true colors. Run away, fast!

Listen, I would be lying if I didnt tell you I am worried you wont- but from the bottom of my heart here are main three reasons why you should:

1.) This man is a liar. He has lied to you for a year. Who knows what else he is hiding? Remember, he will try to keep you around now. Hell tell you his wife is awful, sickdoesnt sleep with him, doesnt understand him. These are all things he makes up to justify his behavior to himself and keep you (his silly game) around. Dont fall for it. Leaving one abuser for another (and a liar is an abuser) is hell for sure!
2.) Remember that you deserve more. You deserve a man who can give his whole heart to you. One who will be there whenever you need him, not just when he can get away. You deserve one who will share you with his friends and family proudly and with honor.
3.) Think beyond yourself. Think of his family. They are already tainted by having a cheater for a husband (father). Imagine the repercussions for you once it is out in the open that you did in fact know he was married (with children)? Why would you want that kind of stain on you? Youre worth more.

I guess because this man knows you are in an abusive relationship now that makes me even angrier. He is preying on your vulnerability. I am sure you are in pain and it is easy to make the wrong choices. He is waiting for you to. He is feeding you what he thinks you need to drag you into this drama with him. If you think it is hard now, it will only get harder as time goes on and you become more attached to him (the lie). If women like believe in their own power as individuals and walk away, men like this wont prosper.

Get out of your abusive relationship(s). Keep yourself busy. Get some counseling. For once I am going to say it; take pride in yourself and get angry!!! This man has been horrible to you. You should be so mad you want to out him to his wife. You deserve more! You are a womannot the other womanyet.

Sending you strength,
Jax

Just have to add, and I cant express this emphatically enough: If a relationship BEGINS WITH LIES IT IS ONLY GOING TO CREATE BIGGER LIES!!!
Think about this-why did the guy lie to you in the first place? Because he knew that you wouldn't have gotten emotionally involved with a married man. SO what does he do? He manipulates you so that you establish an emotional investment in him, and THEN he reveals the truth. The pain you may feel right now by cutting it off with this liar is nothing compared to the pain that you, and possibly some innocents, are going to feel if you continue this relationship predicated on deceit.

Hey Ayngel.... I total agree with all the answers above... I am the wife, but the other woman knew that he was married and got involved with him anyway! She and H has brought great pain into my life.... you don't want to cause another woman such great pain!!
Run away from both men as fast as you can!!!

thank you for all of the good insight i see here.

i've told this guy he's a whore for not being faithful to his wife. he's been with her for only two years and says they married two young, that he never got a chance to explore.

the thing is, we get along so well, and our personalities just seem in rhythm.

it just kind of sucks, because i would have never been a party to his behavior had i know he was married.

it's so hard to get these kind of feelings, and then when you do, it's with someone you can't have.

LOL, sorry about the typos

I jus found out my husband cheated.Just think how deastated you would be if you where married to him and he did this to you.It is so painfull to be in the other side.Did you have sex with him.Sorry that might be to personal...

tinag, so very sorry for your pain! Was married for 34 years when H threw me over for his supervisor (woman)... He lied to me and told me he was working.... but going over to her house.... I even talked to her on phone when I called him..... She knew he was married and had two children, but that didn't mean anything to her. When he told me about her, he told me that she was a nice person, but really all she is and ever will be is a whore!!

Ayngel --- You don't want to that woman..... He is a lier and a cheat...
Just run as fast as you can.... You are too nice to get messed up with these men!!
Please think always that you need more than this kind of relationship...

I agree with most everything said above. I'm the wife and my husband has been cheating and lying to me for a while now. He has no idea I know what's been going on. He has filed for divorce but continues to keep these secrets. This is devestating. You seem like a real nice person and I'm sure wouldn't put another woman through that. Here are some great points:
1)You are not the other woman since you've been lied to; but if you continue you will be.
2)You are worth more than this. You should be a man's 1st priority and not have to be second to anyone else. You deserve better.
3)If you do continue this would you ever really trust him because he started out the relationship as a lie?
4)If he ever left his wife for you, what are the chances of him doing this type of thing to you?

You are beautiful. You deserve to be #1!

Sorry, I guess I am just not understanding why you still want this guy. Back when I was 14 years old my first boyfriend had a girlfriend when we met. I wouldnt even entertain his presence until that relationship was long over. I just think this is a no brainer here. You stop all contact with him. Thats it. Its over. You know the truth now and it aint pretty.

Do you really want to be a fly by night experience for him while he explores? I promise you wont be the only one.

This is what you have to understand- that wonderful connection you have- it aint real.

I know Ill get blasted by saying this but wake up. The fact that you are still lamenting for him has tragedy written all over it.

-Jax

LOL, no, we've been talking online for a year. He just confessed he's married, but it's hard, because I have feelings.

Jax, I appreciate your bluntness.

I didn't know he was married, and I'm just unhappy, so I guess the fact that he makes me happy draws me to him.