My relationship with my boyfriend was great for about 4 years, then he was introduced to the game of poker. It became his life. He played online 80+ hours per week. Morning, noon and night. There was never a moment in the day designated to me. I felt lonely and unwated. I felt unimportant and not needed. So, I saught attention and affection from someone else. I became a cheater. I was always the woman who despised cheaters, adulterers, but there I was doing the unthinkable. The cheating got easier and easier and more frequent. I didn't think of the sex as anything special or deep, basically a temporary fulfillment. My boyfriend has cleaned up his act within the past few months and we're back together. We briefly split for a few months. Now he's going on a cruise with his brother for a week, and I can only think of all the times that I betrayed him and how easy it would be for him to cheat on me and I'd never know. How could I have been so selfish? How can I trust him when I can't even trust myself? I feel like I'm punishing him for what I did. Anyone else feel this way?
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