I am posting for the first time. I have been struggling with life, marriage and work all at the same time. I have been married for 11 years and the last three have been very trying. I am an emotional person who needs COMMUNICATION and that is lacking from my husband. We have "grown" apart. I know people say that and I always wondered what they meant and now I know. I NEVER thought I would go outside the marrige but I did. TWICE!! The first time, I honestly was not looking for an affair, thats NOT who I am at all. My husband found out about it and the affair ended and we separtated, but he came back. He has refused counseling with me and seems to think we are fine. We are obviously are not fine if I went outside the marrige. I have told him numerous times what I need from him and I get nothing in return. I need passion, communication to feel important in his life. So then I began affair number two. It lasted for 5 months and it was wonderful. I was treated like a princess, but the relationship between this man and I got difficult for him, because he knew I was married and unable to commit, so he ended it and now I am HEARTBROKEN!! Oh boo whooo I know. I was a bitch and had an affaire TWICE, but now that I have seen there are men out there that care, I am tempted to divorce, but dont see myself divorced.....weird I know. I am so miserable and dont know where to go from here!!!!
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