I ended an affair three months ago. I feel terrible guilt over it. First off I was real depressed when it started. I had been drinking and doing drugs. It was my aunts boyfriend whom I had the affair with. THat is not the worst part. Her husband that she recently divorced had hepatitis c and I found out the guy I had an affair with slep with a girl who had hepatitis c and aids. I told my husband I did not want to sleep with him and he wanted to anyway. I got checked for aids at the health department but did not have it. I have not been checked for hepatitis c. I am at the point of blowing my brains out. I feel so crappy about myself I just want to die. I cry all the time, and I just want my conscious to stop bothering. Not only that after that affair I slep with a young guy who was 5 years my junior and we used a condom, but I felt bad after it happened because I just told him it was a mistake and he was really upset because I broke his heart. My husband does not know about that one and I feel like I could not control my urges. I also used to have phone sex all the time with anyone all over the world and I would be in a sex chat room for hours. I am feeling so much guilt and hurt and shame even though my husband forgives me. I want to die.
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