Ive just gotten out of an abusive relationship where part of my abuse was putting up with my boyfriends cheating. I had a relapse so to speak recently, which is why Im here where we got back together. I know deep down inside he still has his other women but I started to believe the lies more like I wanted to. I drew a line in the relationship where I told him that we could not be sexually intimate without protection and he walked away. A very big part of me wanted to give in because I figured this was how I could compete. Im still sticking to my guns but need the support to stay there. Its hard always feeling like there was something wrong with me. I know intellectually I deserve better but its really hard to walk away from that. I am always comparing myself to these other women and asking myself what do they have or do that I dont. Whats worse is that I am still struggling with moving on because I cant trust guys anymore. I am uber suspicious now of any female "friend" that they have. I dont want to be one of those types of girls but I probably already am.
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