My husband and I have only been married for 3 years after finding out I was pregnate. We first got legally married and just had a wedding through the church last summer. It was wonderful and kind of expensive. My husband is an only child and his parents spoil him. They actually wrote me a letter trying to convince me to consider giving my child away when I was pregnate, which I believe is because she did not want it to inconvience my husbands life. When I met him, he was in his 3rd year of college. He still has not graduated and its been 9 years! However, I really loved him, knew how important it was for him and his mother for him to graduate. Plus, I wanted my husband to have a job which makes him happy. I emotionally supported and encouraged him. He lied several times about going, and dropped classes a lot. I still helped him with his schedule for the semester and every week helped him organize a schedule to do his homework. He only works part-time. For the first two years, I worked full time while getting my graduate degree. I decided to quite my job (which wasnt that great anyways) to help him more (he started skipping classes and needed someone to wake him up and encourage him to start the day)and so I could get the other graduate degree I needed for my field. His parents agreed to pay our rent so my husband could finish. After the first year of our marriage, he asked me and our daughter to leave because he was messing up with school and thought if he had something to work for he would. My parents were real upset as they moved me and my daughter home to live in their living room. They were even more upset when they found out that three days after I left, there was another girl in his bed. I was furious, and cried a lot. So obviously, it took a long time for them to forgive him despite the fact that I did. When he moved up here, I really started to trust him and love him again. I felt he was truly sorry, and was really growing up. He started getting along with my parents again. We would go there every Sat. night to watch a movie and eat dinner. Last month, we went out of the country to visit my extended family. When we got back things were still great. He had a travel course that we decided he should take since it was only 8 days long compared to other courses that are 3 months long. I thought it would take less stress off and encouraged him to get the experience. However after the third day, the calls were very seldom. I had a feeling. Then one day is phone was turned off. That next morning it was still off. I checked the phone records and he was texting a number a lot. So I checked I called the number and the voicemail said a name of a girl that was on his class list. However, right when I hung up, my husbands phone magically turned on and he called me. I knew something was going on because I called at 8 in the morning and felt that he must have been with her and saw a restricted call.. So I got mad, but tried to let it pass. Then when he got home, he claimed he was upset about our relationship since we have been having Problems. We were not having problems at all, that is why it was so frustrating. I felt like he was saying this to cover up anything that he did or would do soon. Then the calls and texts would stop. Her best friend added my husband on facebook, so I looked at the pics She was hugging him and all over him.. there was even a pic of him carrying her when she was drunk. I made him tell her to not tag him, because I did not want my relatives seeing the pictures. After that, she started commenting on the photos, oh.. ___ (my husband) liked that, he gave you an award.. hahaha He told me the comment was just to make me mad and I basically mad him stick up for me. Apparently she got pissed, and I read a text message stating what about my feelings, why are you sticking up for your wife?? And was really starting to fall for you.. Keep in mind, they have only known each other for 13 days at this point, which I know for a fact. When I read it I got really angry. He never admitted anything and still completely denies it. He said that we are not good for each other and he wants to leave. I basically made him go to counseling with me at our local church. He said he would do it to keep a friendship (so he can be apart of our daughters life) but there was no way he would stay with me at all or even give it effort. I felt like maybe his initial anger would get over and he would try to save our married. However, at the counseling, I agreed not to look at his phone records. It is making me go crazy.
He still reminds me every day, even when I do not ask, that he is leaving in a month after the counseling. He has gone out at least 3 times this week. I do not know if he is with her, but even if he is not, he knows I am alone here and very sad. He has no concern about me. He says really mean things and doesnt watch our daughter when I am on the phone with business calls. I caught her in her room with no socks or shoes and playing with nails. When I reminded him again that she needed to be watch, he claimed that is why he hates me and why he wants to leave. I think I am starting to hate him now. I can not even remain calm around him. I am so hurt that he does not even care. I want to check the records and see if he is calling her, but feel like I would be breaking my promise to myself. I also call him over and over again when he is out. I do not know why but I do.. I do not want to look crazy. I also do not want to let this get to me where I text or say something that could be used against me later. I received a text of a video clip of a women saying That is my man now B@tch. It did not come from her number, but I have a feeling it was her. I want to call her but so far I have not and have not gotten that mad yet, but fear I will. I also cry a lot when he threatens to leave me. I can not remain calm and cry all night when he is out. I just can not do it. I can not stop crying. I also am starting to be mean to him now. I just point things out about him that pisses me off. I know this is only going to push him away, but at the time I am so mad I do not care. What do others do to control your angry impulses?