I recently had a tryst, immediately told my husband and he kicked me out. We have been toghether 17 years and I love him dearly. We had a lot of issues we were dealing with before the tryst. He lost his job in December and it was 7 months before he was able to return to employment. He had been employed with the same company for 12 years and was laid off due to the economy. His job he has now only pays 1/2 of what he made before, which has cause much economic hardship for us. I have worked 2 jobs for 4 years, kept up the house, our 2 kids, etc. Just since about Feb did he start doing his part around the house and felt like he was losing everything. Not that any of these issues justifies me cheating on him, but I did, now I absolutely hate myself for what I have done to my family. I had a mental/nervous breakdown about 2 weeks ago and was confined to a hospital for 48 hrs due to this. After my discharge, my husband asked me to come back home, I think because he felt sorry for me more than anything, but I did. We live in that house together and are raising our kids, but other than that, I feel so disconnected from him. I love him and he says he loves me and I am truly sorry for what I did, but I don't know what else to do anymore. I don't want a divorce and neither does he, but how do we get back to where we were. Just to mess things up even worse......he cheated on me 2 years into our marriage, I "got him back" 7 years into our marriage and here we are again. Part of me is afraid he will "get me back" at some point too and I am not sure I can handle a lot more but I am too miserable without him too because I do love him so much.
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