My H has stopped the A, and decided to go to counseling and give our marriage 100%. But he still loves her, and he has said he has chosen me with his brain, but not with his heart. Do I do the 180 until his heart decides, or is that shooting our chances of really working things out? I am glad we are in counseling but I don't think this is a topic to bring up with him in the room. I really want to say if your hearts not in it, it ain't 100%, but at the same time i know this is as good as he can give at the moment. I'm trying to be understanding, but not so understanding as to be a doormat again. We have been married 16 years and have 2 kids, so I really don't want to give up, I just don't know how to give our marriage the best shot without ruining my dwindling self image. Maybe I need just need to be all in wether he is or not so I can say I gave it my all. Or is doing the 180 a better way? He knows I won't be sleeping with him until his heart makes up his mind, but I still don't think he really gets any of this. I know that making up his mind to give us a chance is something I should be happy about, but I'm not sure what I should do. I hope someone else has been here to help advise.
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