Here is my dilemma. I find out my wife is cheating by overhearing her on the phone with a friend. I confront her immediately with the how could you do that to me etc etc, and she verbally attacks me. I tell her that is it I am leaving and then she BEGS me to stay and cant we please work this out? I leave the residence for one day and then I come back with all the anger. I have apologized for it since but out came all the dirty whore, slut comments etc. Within two days I admit my wrongdoings and tell her that I have never loved anyone as much as her (I DO), and that I am ready to accept my blame in this and do whatever it takes to at least try and work this out. At this point she tells me "not intersted ..she has to work on herself first to find out what made her able to do this and only then can she be in a relationship again" ...I have asked her to at least be open to the fact and if she has to go live alone for a awhile until she gets her head straightened out that we should give it one more shot before breaking up for good. She has agreed that that is reasonable, however in the meantime she has told her friends she had no feelings for me and probably never will again. Is just saying these things to stay in the house etc. Yes that is right she is still in the house even though she insists she has to be alone. She cannot afford it on her own, and anytime I have asked her to please give me some peace and allow me to heal if she has to be alone she tells me she just cant leave me and needs more time with me. My head is spinning. A therapist of mine swears she has BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER and is UNABLE to love anyone but needs me around in order to fulfill her need to feel loved. What the hell am I going to do. I love this woman like I have never loved anyone else and it breaks my heart she is so screwed up. I know I cannot fix her, but I still want to be able to protect her and care for her, but it is breaking my heart that she will not give us a chance. Is she playing me or is she genuinely grieving so bad for hurting me that she feels she MUST be on her own for a while and figure out what her problems are.. PS she has major self image issues and is totally under her parents thumbs. Her Mother is a raving lunatic who does nothing but put her down and i think she beleives that is all she really deserves after 32 years of the abuse. Anyone has some constructive advice I would LOVE to hear it and thanks
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