Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Okay, so the lovely husband who likes to cheat is now having fun with text messaging.
I babysit for a "friend" of the family. She was one of my bridesmaids (we will call her jonna) her husband was a groomsman(and my husbands friend since 5 years old, jon) His mom married us!!
Well anyways, I recently had an argument with the husband who has cheated in the past because he was going to jon and jonnas house. Well I went to bed, and at some point the hubby came home and I was awoken to the sound of his cell phone vibrating, what do I see when I check it but a picture from jonna of her naked boobs.
I of course try to wake him, but he is in an alchol induced coma, and so I call jonna and ask what the hell is going on?????
I get the bull line of I sent it to the wrong person. I then check the inbox and outbox to see him asking her for a picture and her making plans to meet him.
The next morning when he finally gets up, I have had it, I can;t take the bull. he claims nothing happened and orginally it started out as the two of them joking about how they could get me to participate in a three some. Well for eight years, I have told him no, and that isn't going to change.
They planned on getting me trashed and having me participate and then there text messages got out of hand.
Jonna then had the nerve to ask me to still babysit her kids. I don't know what to do anymore, I am just ready to give up, and say screw the eight years, and my love for him. He obviously dosne't love me back.
HElP
I babysit for a "friend" of the family. She was one of my bridesmaids (we will call her jonna) her husband was a groomsman(and my husbands friend since 5 years old, jon) His mom married us!!
Well anyways, I recently had an argument with the husband who has cheated in the past because he was going to jon and jonnas house. Well I went to bed, and at some point the hubby came home and I was awoken to the sound of his cell phone vibrating, what do I see when I check it but a picture from jonna of her naked boobs.
I of course try to wake him, but he is in an alchol induced coma, and so I call jonna and ask what the hell is going on?????
I get the bull line of I sent it to the wrong person. I then check the inbox and outbox to see him asking her for a picture and her making plans to meet him.
The next morning when he finally gets up, I have had it, I can;t take the bull. he claims nothing happened and orginally it started out as the two of them joking about how they could get me to participate in a three some. Well for eight years, I have told him no, and that isn't going to change.
They planned on getting me trashed and having me participate and then there text messages got out of hand.
Jonna then had the nerve to ask me to still babysit her kids. I don't know what to do anymore, I am just ready to give up, and say screw the eight years, and my love for him. He obviously dosne't love me back.
HElP
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I'm really sorry you're going through this too. You're a wonderful, lovable woman. I know something like this can really take a toll on your self esteem. So, please know that you really are lovable and valuable. I started going to individual counseling. It can be helpful.
I also got a book on surviving an affair from Dr. Frank Gunzburg. It can be ordered here if you're interested:
http://www.surviveanaffair.com/
(the link to order is towards the bottom)
Someone also posted a list of Michelle Wiener Davis' divorce busting 180 list. Maybe that will help too:
1. Do not pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead or
implore.
2. No frequent phone calls.
3. Do not point out good points in marriage.
4. Do not follow her around the house.
5. Do not encourage talk about the future.
6. Do not ask for help from family members.
7. Do not ask for reassurances.
8. Do not buy gifts.
9. Do not schedule dates together.
10. Do not spy on spouse.
11. Do not say "I Love You".
12. Act as if you are moving on with your life.
13. Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and attractive.
14. Don't sit around waiting on your spouse - get busy, do things, go to church, go out with friends, etc.
15. When home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation) be scarce or short on words.
16. If you are in the habit of asking your spouse her whereabouts, ASK NOTHING.
17. You need to make your partner think that you have had an awakening and, as far as you are concerned, you are going to move on with your life, with or without your spouse.
18. Do not be nasty, angry or even cold - just pull back and wait to see if spouse notices and, more important, realize what she will be missing
19. No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment. Show her someone she would want to be around.
20. All questions about marriage should be put on
hold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (which may be a while).
21. Never lose your cool.
22. Don't be overly enthusiiastic.
23. Do not argue about how she feels (it only makes their feelings stronger).
24. Be patient
25. Listen carefully to what your spouse is really saying to you.
26. Learn to back off, shut up and walk away when you want to speak out.
27. Take care of yourself (exercise, sleep, laugh & focus on all the other parts of your life that are not in turmoil).
28. Be strong and confident and learn to speak softly.
29. Know that if you can do 180, your smallest
CONSISTENT actions will be noticed much more than any words you can say or write.
30. Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting more than ever and are desperate and needy.
31. Do not focus on yourself when communicating with your spouse.
32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because she is hurting and scared.
33. Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel.
34. Do not backslide from your hard earned changes.
They complement Plan A because in Plan B there is NC(no contact) with the wayward spouse.
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You don't have to make any decisions on whether or not to stay married immediately. I know it's hard to figure out what you want to do when you've been hit with such a shock. Just please take care of yourself and reach out as much as you need to. You are worthy of being loved, so give yourself as much love as you would anyone else. Lots and lots of hugs to you.