
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Hi, This is my first post, I've been hunting for a place to talk for ages!!! So I am sad to say that I am glad to find a place where people are in the same boat and have experienced/experiencing what I am going through.
I am not married but engaged. I found another women had been in contact with my fiance, to cut a long story short, she said they had been seeing each other for 7 months, he has denied it all, but there's too many details to just ignore.
We were (well I thought)kind of moving on when another 'girl' came along, who has claimed the same sort of thing.
I was shattered when I found out about all this stuff, and can not comprehend how he could do this to me, I honestly believe its another person (but don't) I mean for him to propose and all the rest confuses me so much? Why make a commitment to someone when you have been seeing other people... I think thats why I still hang on hoping he hasn't cheated, but the other half of me keeps telling me he's a cheater.
Why won't he admit what he has done and let us both move on?? I know it sounds silly but if he's cheated I want to hear it from him just to make sure, otherwise I really don't want to leave him. He is my first love, and the way I feel for him words can not descibe(cliche I know) but I just don't understand why he would go to so much effort in making our relationship semi work if he wasn't 100% sure about us getting married etc. It just seems like such a waste of time!?
We have argued for 10 months straight, daily and have both tried to end our relationship many times but I can't understand why, if he has cheated he wouldn't just admit it and leave, why go through all this misery??
Any advice will be appreciated..
I am not married but engaged. I found another women had been in contact with my fiance, to cut a long story short, she said they had been seeing each other for 7 months, he has denied it all, but there's too many details to just ignore.
We were (well I thought)kind of moving on when another 'girl' came along, who has claimed the same sort of thing.
I was shattered when I found out about all this stuff, and can not comprehend how he could do this to me, I honestly believe its another person (but don't) I mean for him to propose and all the rest confuses me so much? Why make a commitment to someone when you have been seeing other people... I think thats why I still hang on hoping he hasn't cheated, but the other half of me keeps telling me he's a cheater.
Why won't he admit what he has done and let us both move on?? I know it sounds silly but if he's cheated I want to hear it from him just to make sure, otherwise I really don't want to leave him. He is my first love, and the way I feel for him words can not descibe(cliche I know) but I just don't understand why he would go to so much effort in making our relationship semi work if he wasn't 100% sure about us getting married etc. It just seems like such a waste of time!?
We have argued for 10 months straight, daily and have both tried to end our relationship many times but I can't understand why, if he has cheated he wouldn't just admit it and leave, why go through all this misery??
Any advice will be appreciated..
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I'm just so lost, I am still deeply in love with him but at the same time I don't want to be with someone who doesn't deserve me, I have been nothing but loyal and have given him my all. I guess if he has cheated, why would he admit it? How could a person who has done that sort of thing even feel guilty or the need to tell their partner?
But why carry on in the relationship?
And, most people here would tell you to trust your instincts. Most of us would not suspect our spouses of having an affair unless they were. Of course my wife was convinced I was having an affair and I SOOO wasn't. I made a promise that I would be faithful to her, and I kept it. So, the instincts are not always right. But, the fact that you had some proof is still a red flag. He needs to find a VERY GOOD explanation for that text message you found.
I had a first love too. For 5 years. I knew he had cheated but he always had an explanation and swore nothing would happen again. One day, he slipped and told me that he started with the one woman even before we had met. For some reason, it made it possible for me to leave. I saw that we could never get 'back' to the time when all was good. It felt like my heart was literally being ripped out of my chest. I walked around whole days feeling as if I had been punched hard in the stomach. Until then I had thought it was a cliche - can't eat, can't sleep, etc. it happened.
But I can say this: it would have been light years worse, if we had gotten married, had a wonderful beautiful ceremony in front of everyone, (including his friends who knew he cheated) and maybe even had children. I would have wanted to save that experience for a real relationship with someone I could trust deep down and be with forever.
My fiance at the time lied and lied. I had to see it with my own eyes before I believed it, and this was entirely by chance. And still I was dumb enough to carry on for a while.
Well, enough about me. what are you going to do?
My ex FIANCE did the same SHIT to me. Cheated and lied and lied and lied.
I was hoping you would see this and respond b/c YOU immediately came to mind. You know first hand what she is going through. Hope YOU are doing well. :)
As Cathy said, this is a good place for support.
I think, if you r anything like me, the reason u cannot completely believe he is this person who is lying and cheating, is because it takes a whole world view change.
In other words, this is not a one-night stand, he came to u, confessed, u forgave, end of story.
This says something is VERY WRONG with him. And, of course, that makes u think, What is wrong with me? Your whold world has been turned upside down and you are in shock. right now u will do almost anything to make it not true.
I know, me too. I have told my husband many times, if HE had not been the one to tell me about his affair, I WOULD NEVER HAVE BELIEVED IT! NEVER! Fifteen women could have swopped down on me carrying videos of sex with him and babes in their arms who resemble him and I would NOT have believed them!
Your F may never admit the truth, as Jay said, until he is caught with the cookie in his hand.
You may need to do some sluething, speak to the women who called you again. Take a photo of him and ask neighbors or nearby bars and rstuarants if they have seen him there with a (tall brunett?). Do what u need to do to be certain.
Dont make any life changes until u do. BA is right, u want to walk down the isle with someone who u know respects and loves u.
I am sorry, I know how much this hurts and I wish I could say it will be brief, it will not, but it will end sooner, if u find the truth.