Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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/ Infidelity Support Group

his grief

deleted_user
deleted_user
I was watching robin and company this morning and they had some type of expert talking about "healing after the affair" she said that as hard as it is for the person who was cheated on that the person who did the cheating should have at least 10 minutes a day to grieve the affair that they were having. i wish my husband would have the nerve to grieve over his affair with all the hell i have been thru. i could not even imagine him telling me that he is sad over losing his mistress.......what do you all think about this?

to those who cheated, do you grieve your affair or do you grieve for your sad and depressed spouse, or both?
deleted_user
deleted_user
sorry i meant to write his/her grief. i get so wrapped up in my pain i forget that woman cheat too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I cheated a year and a half ago, and sometimes the shame and grief over what I did is still overwhelming, like a punch in the stomach. I would give anything to turn back time and make things different. I husr my husband so badly, and I so wish I hadn't. So yes, for me there is grief. But I know my husband's pain is even greater. Thankfully, he is able to forgive me, and we are healing day by day.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I cheated on my husband 3 months ago with a mutual friend. Yes, I most certainly grieve for the pain I put my husband through, and for the friendships we lost, as well. I really wish we could go back to the way things were before, but that just isn't possible. If there was such thing as a time machine, I would definitely use it to change all this! It's absolutely the worst thing me and my husband have ever gone through, and we've been through a lot! I'm sure maybe he's getting tired of me saying I'm sorry, but there aren't enough sorry's in the world to make up for what I did! I do hope, with time, that life will return to normal again. I often wonder how long that might take, too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
thank you both for your responses, you really seem to be sorry for what you did to your spouses and i hope that you all can get past the pain and be happy. i wish you the best.
jennsue
jennsue
I have not cheated but wanted to comment. I wish I could know that my cheating H could feel some of the pain that he has caused me. However when he feels he has done nothing wrong--how can he feel pain?
deleted_user
deleted_user
jennsue-this was not just for the cheaters i want to know how you would feel as the wife if you knew your husband was missing his mistress and grieving over having to let her go. wouldn't you want to kick his ass all the way to her house. HA!HA!HA!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I had to watch my wife grieve her affair for months......right in front of me.....cant tell ya how bad that felt...she actually expected me to feel bad for her...my pain meant nothing...
deleted_user
deleted_user
my h misses his slut but not because of the usuall issues.. they were really good friends in school and even dated off and on.. they had remained friends for quite a while and then lost contact.. she was there when he lost his grandfather and gave him the support and friendship he needed...

he knows now what he did was wrong, and that I won`t ever allow him to speak to her again and he respects that... and because he does so I do listen now and then to how he feels about the loss of their friendship... he tends to be a very loyal loving person for the most part
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband would not admit it for a long time, but of course he mourned the loss of her. His decision to return home to me was based on good common sense, why leave ME for a woman who sits on a bar stool for a living? I think my h also loved me.

But how does a wife of 12 years compete with a fantasy. a woman who adored his every word and always did anything he wanted because she was trying to get him to leave his wife?
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband would not admit it for a long time, but of course he mourned the loss of her. His decision to return home to me was based on good common sense, why leave ME for a woman who sits on a bar stool for a living? I think my h also loved me.

But how does a wife of 12 years compete with a fantasy. a woman who adored his every word and always did anything he wanted because she was trying to get him to leave his wife?
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband would not admit it for a long time, but of course he mourned the loss of her. His decision to return home to me was based on good common sense, why leave ME for a woman who sits on a bar stool for a living? I think my h also loved me.

But how does a wife of 12 years compete with a fantasy. a woman who adored his every word and always did anything he wanted because she was trying to get him to leave his wife?
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband would not admit it for a long time, but of course he mourned the loss of her. His decision to return home to me was based on good common sense, why leave ME for a woman who sits on a bar stool for a living? I think my h also loved me.

But how does a wife of 12 years compete with a fantasy. a woman who adored his every word and always did anything he wanted because she was trying to get him to leave his wife?
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband would not admit it for a long time, but of course he mourned the loss of her. His decision to return home to me was based on good common sense, why leave ME for a woman who sits on a bar stool for a living? I think my h also loved me.

But how does a wife of 12 years compete with a fantasy. a woman who adored his every word and always did anything he wanted because she was trying to get him to leave his wife?
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband would not admit it for a long time, but of course he mourned the loss of her. His decision to return home to me was based on good common sense, why leave ME for a woman who sits on a bar stool for a living? I think my h also loved me.

But how does a wife of 12 years compete with a fantasy. a woman who adored his every word and always did anything he wanted because she was trying to get him to leave his wife?
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband would not admit it for a long time, but of course he mourned the loss of her. His decision to return home to me was based on good common sense, why leave ME for a woman who sits on a bar stool for a living? I think my h also loved me.

But how does a wife of 12 years compete with a fantasy. a woman who adored his every word and always did anything he wanted because she was trying to get him to leave his wife?
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