AS MOST OF YOU HERE KNOW, WHEN I DISCOVERED MY HUSBANDS AFFAIR I ALSO DISCOVERED THAT HE HAD A BABY WITH HIS MISTRESS. WE HAVE TALKED SEVERAL TIMES ABOUT WHAT HE WILL DO AS FAR AS THIS CHILD GOES. I NEED YOUR ADVICE-IS IT FAIR FOR ME TO WORK IT OUT AND STAY WITH HIM BUT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CHILD, OR SHOULD I LEAVE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE A PART OF HIS OTHER FAMILY(MY IN-LAWS ARE BAD ENOUGH :)THIS IS SO UNFAIR TO ME, HE AND HIS MISTRESS PRETTY MUCH MADE THIS DECISION FOR ME AND NOW I MAY BE FORCED TO LEAVE MY MARRIAGE BECAUSE THEY HAVE FORCED THIS SITUATION ON ME. AND YES SHE IS JUST AS MUCH TO BLAME BECAUSE SHE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS DOING, SHE ADMITTED THAT HERSELF AND EVEN IF SHE HAD NOT ADMITTED IT SHE KNEW HE HAD A WIFE AND BABY ON THE WAY. I CAN NOT BELIEVE THAT HE PUT ME(US) IN THIS POSITION,SAYING HE NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN TO HIM. WELL WHEN YOU SCREW A WOMAN WHO ALREADY HAS 3 KIDS BY 3 DIFFERENT MEN, HOW COULD YOU NOT THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU, BUT HE SWEARS ON EVERYTHING HE LOVES THAT HE DID NOT WANT A BABY WITH HER, SHE EVEN ADMITTED THAT HE WANTED HER TO HAVE AN ABORTION BUT SHE THOUGHT HE WOULD CHANGE HIS MIND AFTER THE BABY WAS BORN, AND THAT ONCE I FOUND OUT I WOULD LEAVE AND HE WOULD COME TO THEM. SHE ADMITS THIS TO ME BUT IN THE SAME BREATH ADMITS THAT HE ALWAYS TOLD HER HE WOULD NEVER LEAVE HIS FAMILY. WHAT'S SAD IS THAT THE CHILD SUFFERS EVEN MORE THAN ME. THE THOUGHT OF THE CHILD IS JUST TOO PAINFUL AND JUST MENTION OF HER BREAKS MY HEART OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I KNOW THE CHILD HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG AND IS COMPLETELY INNOCENT BUT SHE IS A CONSTANT REMINDER OF ALL THE PAIN I HAVE BEEN GOING THRU. I HAVE NO HARD FEELINGS TOWARDS THE CHILD, BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE DID NOT ASK TO BE HERE AND DID NOTHING TO ME, SHE IS AN INNOCENT CHILD OF COURSE, BUT JUST THE FACT THAT MY HUSBAND COULD BETRAY ME THE WAY HE DID HURTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I TRY TO SEPERATE THE CHILD FROM THE ACTION-I JUST CAN'T. I HAVE TOLD HIM THAT HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE NEEDS TO DO AS FAR AS THE CHILD GOES BUT I WANT NO PARTS OF IT. WE HAVE A SON TOGETHER AND HE IS 4 MONTHS OLDER THAN THIS CHILD. I JUST DON'T THINK I WANT TO BE INVOLVED WITH THE CHILD, I JUST DON'T THINK IT IS A GOOD IDEA. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT I MAY MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN HER LIFE, I JUST DON'T KNOW. IN YOUR OPINION CAN I WORK ON MY MARRIAGE AND BE HAPPY AGAIN WITH MY HUSBAND BUT NEVER BE INVOLVED WITH HIS OUTSIDE CHILD. CAN HE HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER SEPERATE FROM THE ONE HE HAS AT HOME. DO YOU THINK THIS CAN WORK. SINCE FINDING OUT I HAVE WANTED TO BELIEVE THAT WE CAN BE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY, I JUST DON'T KNOW.
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