
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

deleted_user
Ok, oviously, I am the only one awake here.;)
I want to forgive my H for what he has done. I want to make my marriage work.
I am happy, the kids are happy, I love my husband, and everyone is in happyland...and then, his phone rings or, a song comes on the radio,or the sky is f***ing blue.
I think...he doesn't deserve this... to be happy,content and satified with his marriage. I want to feel that way! ..Not him!
So, I ruin it all. I am in a bad mood, I throw digs, and my H and my kids think I am the B**ch, I am the ass.
How can I get over this? Maybe, I am fooling myself...I can't get over this and forgive him?
Anyone?
I want to forgive my H for what he has done. I want to make my marriage work.
I am happy, the kids are happy, I love my husband, and everyone is in happyland...and then, his phone rings or, a song comes on the radio,or the sky is f***ing blue.
I think...he doesn't deserve this... to be happy,content and satified with his marriage. I want to feel that way! ..Not him!
So, I ruin it all. I am in a bad mood, I throw digs, and my H and my kids think I am the B**ch, I am the ass.
How can I get over this? Maybe, I am fooling myself...I can't get over this and forgive him?
Anyone?
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I too am in the middle of a reconciliation. So, I have no idea how to make it work perm.
Do you ever forget NO! Can you move past it, I DON"T KNOW. It all depends on how honest your husband has been with you about the whole affair. They reasons for it, things that were said, etc.
The secret I do know is to forgive him with all your heart. The words are so easy to say, but figuring out how to do this is the difficult part. Maybe you need a counselor for both of you. It is a lot of work for something they may or may not happen.
As to the kids, please don't let them worry about you too much. Our daughter got so depressed after my wife's affair that we had to get her into counseling and eventually I had to tell her what happened. I wouldn't suggest that for everyone. But, my daughter had to know what was going on. I think you can be honest enough without having to tell them everything. They may end up blaming themselves for your sadness. They just can't understand what's going on and they tend to wonder what they did wrong.
There will be reminders all around for you a while. I wasn't able to watch TV, listen to secular radio, or let my wife use a phone without me being there for several weeks. She didn't leave the house without me or the kids with her for weeks. She understood and she volunteered to do this in order to help me gain back some trust in her. So, your husband is going to have to help build back up the trust. That's his job. He's the one that destroyed it.
In time, you will still remember the affair, but it won't sting as much when you are reminded. Unfortunately, I can now watch most TV shows and it doesn't hurt me a whole lot when someone is having an affair. Before, I just had to either change the channel or get up and leave the room instead of getting mad or depressed about it. Don't push the anger down, but get it out in a healthy way.
I have never experienced anything on the other end of this infedelity thing, but I have had traumatic experiences that have triggers as well.
All I can say is that over time you WILL stop feeling like that. But it will take lots of time.
Are you seeing a therapist?
I have a GREAT deal of respect for people in your situation. You can read my profile and get a good idea of what happened... But the fact that you are trying to make it work means you are a STRONG person, with lots of love.
The trust... Will come with time. My H doesn't trust me at all right now. And for good reason. But I honestly believe in time he will see not only my words but actions as well.
If heis sincere about it, and is taking all the steps needed to regain your trust, then that is good. But as far as your triggers, and rightly angry thoughts... You should definitely see a therapist. That way you can vent and talk about things without pushing your husband away with it.
This is at least what we are doing...