
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Hi,
I have been trying to work things out with my fiance for 10 months now. Had found out he had been seeing another girl, two that I know of, one for 2 months the other for 7 months (from what they say) amongst all of this he asked me to marry him, before I found out. I confronted him with everything and he has denied still to this day. I found a photo of him sitting next to this girl on her bed and I ignored it, I chose to believe him even when I know its a lie? Shes just sent me a birthday card with his hand writing and everything and hes still denying it??
I've rung him and asked him to explain it (I don't know whats to explain) and he just hangs up.... so why do I still want him back?
This is the worst someone has ever treated me, he has been the love of my life, everything! and I would take him back if he said all the right things.. the thing is I don't want to.. please give me advice on how to move on, things you found easy or think would make things easier.
I'm in my early 20's with no children and just can't stand to go through my life scared/worried/anxious that this will all happen again if I stay with him... its just so sad that someone who you put your life, love, trust, everything! can do this to you? I should be angry but I am just so hurt and still can't believe it, but I feel it.. if that makes sense.
I have been trying to work things out with my fiance for 10 months now. Had found out he had been seeing another girl, two that I know of, one for 2 months the other for 7 months (from what they say) amongst all of this he asked me to marry him, before I found out. I confronted him with everything and he has denied still to this day. I found a photo of him sitting next to this girl on her bed and I ignored it, I chose to believe him even when I know its a lie? Shes just sent me a birthday card with his hand writing and everything and hes still denying it??
I've rung him and asked him to explain it (I don't know whats to explain) and he just hangs up.... so why do I still want him back?
This is the worst someone has ever treated me, he has been the love of my life, everything! and I would take him back if he said all the right things.. the thing is I don't want to.. please give me advice on how to move on, things you found easy or think would make things easier.
I'm in my early 20's with no children and just can't stand to go through my life scared/worried/anxious that this will all happen again if I stay with him... its just so sad that someone who you put your life, love, trust, everything! can do this to you? I should be angry but I am just so hurt and still can't believe it, but I feel it.. if that makes sense.
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If it helps, pretend someone else wrote it. What would you tell them? Would you encourage them to stay with this guy, or would you tell them they needed to get away as fast as they could?
I think you have your answers already, just need to listen to what you're saying a little closer.
This is a hard learning curve for you and it hurts like hell, so learn from it and chose not to live in abuse. Bid him farewell and get all the help you can.
You will eventually leave him if you just continue on his abusive path, but it is you that is going to get hurt and continue hurting.
I just can't understand why he would ask me to marry him when he knew his love was not 100%. The sad thing is, alot of his friends do it, if not all, and I think now (I realise) that I chose to ignore it... though I did believe him for a while.
In the end, it's usually about them getting what they wanted while they could get it and nothing more.
You're going to drive yourself nuts if you try to make any sense of this thing.
You need to be left alone night after night with your children while he is out with other women, spending the money you need to buy groceries.
You need to accidentally see him kissing another woman while you are out shopping for a gift for him.
You need to catch herpes from him and have him lie about how you got it.
You need to give your youth, beauty, money, and time to this relationship for years, then finally get divorced, hurting your children, losing your friends, and making your financial situation miserable. Then you'll see him parade around with some slut, pretending to be a great guy, while you struggle to raise your kids and wonder if you will ever be loved as a woman again.
Pianaka, seems crazy and cruel to say to you now but you have been given a wonderful gift. The truth.
Don't return it. Treasure it and give thanks.
-Jax
Listen, I am 54 years old, not bad lookin for an old lady, nevertheless, I just wasted my last 15 years of "pretty" on a lying cheating, yet adorable sweet, charming man.
The "pretty" come from the book, "He's Just Not That Into You", cant remember the author's name.
Read it...treqat it like gospel...it was written by a man who played the field for years..but...when he found the woman he married...he said it was amazing! he would no more risk losing her than he would cut off his arm! Think about honey, would you risk losing him...for an ego stroke or roll in the hay? Of course not!
I havent even mentioned the lying. i know how that works too. It is almost hypnotic, in the spell it casts on us. Especially when the lies are so bold! Your man will lie about ANYTHING! If you actually causght him in bed with someone else, he would stand up...naked...with a boner...and say..."what is there to explain"? I know because my husband is that same man. I think like this, "either the man I have trusted and believed for 15 (count them...15) years is a truly horrible person, willing to cause me to DOUBT MY SANITY rather than tell the truth. Wiling to cause YOU to DOUBT YOUR HOLD ON REALITY, rather than tell the truth!
Do not underestimate the lack of conscience and power that that has over you! It is one thing to accept that you BF had an affair, boys, will, after all, be boys, but that he will lie to your face when all the evidence contradict him? Honey, that is pathological and before you know it you will be in a padded cell not knowing up from down if you do not get a firm grip on something! Someone, even if it is us at DS, who will remind you over and over, you are not crazy!
Admittedly, he may not be doing this out of malice, just self preservation, but he is not caring about you and does not have your best interests at heart, in fact, he is concerned about only one thing, he wants to keep (you) the woman he has decided is wife material and his whores.
I am so sorry, i wish we both had happy endings. As you said, you are in your 20.s, there is still a chance for you. Take it!