Hey all,Thought I'd write a little bit because I am still heartbroken knowing she went out last night.I did not sleep any and about 2 this morning she rode past my place.I know that I blew this whole marriage because I questioned her weird behavior and then the night I got drunk and called her names and accused her of messing around.I was hoping she would forgive me by now and it seems that she is not and I am now to the point of giving up.I don't want to but I see no other way.I tell I love her and then she cuts me down and says I don't.So if I do have to talk to her about something I don't tell her I love her anymore.What's the point?She does'nt believe me.So far I have heard from her since yesterday morning.I have not called her at all.And I'm not going to.I miss her terribly but she will never know and it seems that I have built a wall around me.It hurts so bad that she does not call or anything to work things out.Right now it seems like her friends and partying is more important to her.In the 23 years we have been married I never once thought about having an affair,But i sure am now.It just seems that she has given me up.I never seen a separation like this.I figured she would call me every now and then but sometimes she will go for days.I can't understand it.Is she that hurt because of names I called her that I didn't mean in the first place.They just came out because I was mad when she went out.I am lost now as to how to make her know I love her.
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