Nick & I just had our first child, a precious, perfect baby boy, Gavin. Gavin was born on January 7, 2009. At about four months through my pregnancy Nick started staying at his mother's house. He attributed it to his dad being in Iraq & she needed help with the foster children. During that time we hardly talked. I was trying to work despite complications with the pregnancy due to stress. I was alone & by myself nearly all of the time. I could tell something was going on, but he wouldn't talk to me about it. I had a feeling though... Things continued to get harder & harder, as I cried myself to sleep every night, wondering if this pregnancy was a mistake. The week of Thanksgiving I was put on strict bedrest. Because he wasn't around & I was unable to take care of myself anymore, I began staying with my parents who live a little over an hour away. Exactly one week before Christmas Nick called me crying. He told me that the reason he hadn't come home was because he had been cheating on me with another woman. I was devastated. I still am. Despite however the heartache, I'm the type of person that forgives & gives people a second chance. After all, I love him. I love him so much. Nick promised to recommit to our relationship & would be the man that I needed him to be, the man I deserve. He was doing a decent job the next few weeks; I could truly see his efforts. We were blessed with Gavin on January 7th, four weeks earlier than expected, but perfect & healthy nonetheless. We were home from the hospital four days when Nick came home late that night, and told me that she is pregnant. I don't know what to do or how to feel. I am numb. I am so destroyed. Every time I look into those beautiful eyes of my perfect baby boy, I can't help but to think of another woman having his child... I want so badly to make it work, Gavin deserves for me to try, but I don't know if I can. I don't know. I am so miserable.
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