Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I understand that we are all here for help. The thing that i seem to miss in all of the discussions/topics that i read, is the fact that i have not found ONE that has been about someone here, looking to move on in their life in a positive way with their H/W, and had it be a happy outcome??
I truely believe that 'No one has the power to make you angry unless you give it to them.'
In my trials lately I seem to have forgotten that.
I have asked many times for advice. I have recieved MANY that simply said "do what is best for you." And i thank those that have written that.
I have recieved VERY few that have say anything about trying to work it out with my H. ??? This confuses me.
There has to be SOME happy endings to some of the heartache that people have gone through.
I just cannot seem to find anyone that has said; yes there was a life changing mistake/issue that took place "but we chose to let it bring us closer and make us stronger, instead of tearing both of us (reguardless of who's at fault) apart. ???? Are there happy stories out there?---Where the people worked through it?
I believe that a relationship is NOT 50/50. It's 100/100. And there will be sometimes that one person only gives 80 and the other gives 110. Yet they both still give.
I know that there are MANY situations where it is best for one or both to leave. I also believe that too many people give up; they let the hurt consume their lives(as i did).
ANY response to this good/bad/indifferent would be helpful to me and hopefully others.
.......
I truely believe that 'No one has the power to make you angry unless you give it to them.'
In my trials lately I seem to have forgotten that.
I have asked many times for advice. I have recieved MANY that simply said "do what is best for you." And i thank those that have written that.
I have recieved VERY few that have say anything about trying to work it out with my H. ??? This confuses me.
There has to be SOME happy endings to some of the heartache that people have gone through.
I just cannot seem to find anyone that has said; yes there was a life changing mistake/issue that took place "but we chose to let it bring us closer and make us stronger, instead of tearing both of us (reguardless of who's at fault) apart. ???? Are there happy stories out there?---Where the people worked through it?
I believe that a relationship is NOT 50/50. It's 100/100. And there will be sometimes that one person only gives 80 and the other gives 110. Yet they both still give.
I know that there are MANY situations where it is best for one or both to leave. I also believe that too many people give up; they let the hurt consume their lives(as i did).
ANY response to this good/bad/indifferent would be helpful to me and hopefully others.
.......
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I want to continue my marriage and I too came here for help...
I even put on the website that has helped me the most, but I guess most here really don't want to go to the site...
If you are interested, here is the site...
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6806_inf.html
she cheated, they worked it out, he is in the process of forgiving, they are moving on with their lives together..
that being said today is my 13th wedding anniversary, and the H and I are celebrating it and have been off and on all weekend.. i`m supposed to be sleeping so he can bring me breakfast in bed and then he is going to be my `slave` for the day ..
having my family over for thanksgiving so want to clean/ decorate..
my son informs us that he hasn`t seen us this good to each other or this happy in a long time..
it has taken alot of work to get to where we are and we still have alot of work left to go.. it can happen if your both willing to work on it
My guess is that the people who are having few problems getting through this do not need this support group.
It does take two and I can easily think of a scenario in which my husband had said the RIGHT thing and we would have closed this long ago.
An affair does not have to end a marriage. My husband's affair ws relatively short and over immediately. If he hadnt tried to blame me, gaslight me and cause me more grief than was necessary, than I would not be here. i only joined about 6 months ago and the affair was disclosed 2 years ago.
My husband had serious issues regarding taking responsibility and with almost 2 years in AA he is growing up some. I hope to have a somewhat happy ending but have been so injured by him since the affair, it is hard. Those of us on DS, I think, are the ones whose marriages are not so easy to fix.
I would love to hear from someone as well who might be like 5 years down the road and that things are wonderful.
If anyone knows of a couple like this, let us know.
I am also struggling with a family that thinks I should kick his ass to the curb and are not going to be very receptive to my H. What they don't understand is how this makes me upset and uncomfortable.
Any advice?
the future is just hard to see and who knows if it will every be clear.
Rather than read my posts, which are usually during my bad moments, take a lookat my journal for a little look at what it's like for us post affair.
It is work, but any marriage is. I'm also with Nave, those are further along with healing need this site less. Often they read, but post and respond little, but they are here.
Good luck...Jax ;-)
If it was I who had the affair would she give me a second chance?
She has lied, misled, and broke my trust, can I trust her again?
A- No she would have left and never returned.
Do I still love her?
A-Yes, but I refuse to be the second man in her life!
Why has this happened?
A- Thers's a reason for everything.
So, I simply knew that I deserve better than her. I deserve someone who is honest, loyal, trusting, loving, caring, etc.... Most of all someone who is going to respect the marriage vows. This divorce has inspired me to do many things with my life. I have recently started my own support group in my area. I am trying to form a group to support and heal together. You can check this website out at www.wecaredivorcegroup.org. Yes it's off to a slow start but, never know what's going to happen next. I am interested in marriage and why we divorce. So, it's made be want to write articles on these issues. I think these are positive things. Yes, I will struggle from time to time but, it's apart of the healing process.
Here's the revised!
If it was I who had the affair would she give me a second chance?
A- No she would have left and never returned.
She has lied, misled, and broke my trust, can I trust her again?
A- No, I can't and trust is one of the keys to a successful marriage.
Do I still love her?
A-Yes, but I refuse to be the second man in her life!
Why has this happened?
A- Thers's a reason for everything.