Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Found Proof of Cell Phone

deleted_user
deleted_user
Last night when I got home, I went to give my H a kiss and put my hand on his leg. Lo and behold there was a cell phone in his pocket (the one I check on was on the table). He almost bruised my arm by grabbing me away from him. Then when I went out to the garage later I noticed that there was a charger plugged into the wall outlet. It was a Nokia charger. I checked where I keep the ones for the other phones and they were all there.

Then this morning when my daughter opened the door to watch for the bus, there was a package from DHL. Addressed to my H and inside was a cell phone sim card.

So I left the package on his recliner and went to work.

I checked the address and phone number that was on the label and it was from "Net 10 Wireless". A prepay cell company.

I called him to make sure that he was up because he has to work nights for the next couple of nights (on the shift with the OW) and told him he had a package. He said he hadn't seen a package. So I told him what was in it and he said he didn't order any sim card and got REAL defensive.

He's still denying everything!!!

This is driving me crazy!! I don't know which way to turn and my next appointment with my counselor isn't until the 26th!
deleted_user
deleted_user
oh dear! I hope you sort it out, i had crap like that before from my husband, not sure if he still doing it as we moved and in the UK you also can get all sort of phones and sims, i hate it wish i was single as my husband drives me nuts, i hated dont you?
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's the not knowing that hurts the worst.
deleted_user
deleted_user
When it got down to the point when I KNEW my husband had cheated and was lying about it still, I just waited for the right opportunity to arise. I had a plan to call the OW and tell her I knew everything and if she didn't admit it I would email her friends and family. (She had sent a funny forward to my husband and a lot of her friends and family, so I had all their email addresses.) I was basically going to threaten HER if she didn't tell me the truth. She had said to me, "I would NEVER do that to another woman."
Well, I set a deadline in my head to do that, but before I had the chance, he confessed when I caught him in one final lie and told him "I" was done this time.
Have you thought about confronting the OW? Do you know anybody on their shift that could investigate for you? I know this is so hard because I've been there. Not knowing is the hardest. I wish you the best.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Until he stops denying what is going on..you cannot save your marriage. he is in the middle of an affair right now and thinks that as long as he denies everything then you will leave him alone.. he will not fess up to anything unless you have real proof . So, the question is... how can you get it? can you afford a private investigator to follow him? can you follow him? call the OW? call her husband? contact someone at work? put a keylogger or spyware on the computer...too bad you told him about the package... I wonder if there would be something that you could have done with that? In my opinion, you have to find out for sure-for yourself-exactly what is going on...
Thriver
Thriver
But you do know. He hasn't said it upfront to you, but you know.
He sounds pathological (says Thriver, not really knowing exactly what that means).
deleted_user
deleted_user
Do you know both numbers? If you do, spoof them. use a spoofcard (google them) using your H's cell number as the caller ID to call her phone. If she picks up with a "hi sweetie" you know what is going on.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Get into his email records. Put a spy program on your computer if need be. When he is sleeping, look in his car and his pants for the cell. Put a voice activated tape recorder in his car and in your home if you're working a different schedule.
Stay quiet. Don't let him know you're on to him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
God wynd I feel so bad, what an awful way to have to live, it must make you sick.
I can't help with the detective part of this but know I am praying for you and thinking of you.

Wishing you peace of mind and heart.

Huggs Lorie
deleted_user
deleted_user
I just found this site tonight...very sorry to hear about what you just discovered. Don't spend your time looking things up on computers and other things to catch him cheating. I went through this myself...it works but it tears you apart. Any wife and any husband at any time should be at ease to show their best friend ie: wife or husband their phone, email, etc. There really should never be a secret that someone should get so upset over. Him grabbing your arm is abuse in my opinion too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so very sorry! It really, really, sucks and really, really, makes you mad, and REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, etc., etc., HURTS!

Karma will bite them all in the butt in the end!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sounds like an affair to me. I've said this before, the cell phone is one of the WMD - Weapons of Marital Destruction.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Infidel I think you are right, one of the proofs of my H's affair was the number of calls for the OW. Funny how my son picked up on that right away and wanted me to call the OW and tell her to get her own husband. This was before the H actually confessed. Now I check his cell phone and he is quite welcome to check mine.
deleted_user
deleted_user
he is lying lying lying.Please protect yourself form what is happenning to you.I was in denial as my h denied everything.They only get defenseive when they have somthing to hide.You need evidence though and thats the hard part.I hope you find it beacuse until you do you cannot save or end your marriage.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Of course he is lying. You check the phone on the table - the one the bill comes to the house on. The one he only talks to you and other family members on. He talks to the OW on the pre-paid phone. That way he can appear to be upfront and honest and meet all the demands.

He also probably has a spoofcard so that he can call you from a number you recognize. It is nearly impossible to catch this. I know.

Put a gps tracer on his cell - many phone companies offer it for teenagers. That may help. Or put a gps device on his car without telling him and track his movements on the computer.

Someone here was keeping a mileage log. A very good idea. Noted his mileage each day told her friend (who was the one who kept the log) and compared mileage to what he said that he did.

Lastly, make a log of the little daily slights. Home late, speaking in code, anything odd. Its not that you don't see what is happening, but we tend to discount past indiscretions and paint an untrue picture.

Good luck with this. It is so amazingly sad. I am so sorry.
deleted_user
deleted_user
OMG! What is it with these cheaters and "the secret cell phone" It seems they all read the same book on how to cheat. When I discovered my H's secret cell phone is was kinda funny he called the house from it by mistake then stummbeled all over trying to explain whos cell phone it was. I then figured out how to call it, reset the passcode and check messages on it. seems he had it for a long time and I knew nothing about it but after I checked it for awhile I relized what he was up to the messages were very racy and from several women and from an old OW.
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