I'm going to go off and rant here. But I'm gonna guess that would be ok since this is a place to get things off your chest and share feelings. There are some posts here that are from people who are/were the OW/OM and I respect that they having feelings and opinions but I also have feelings and opinions. Now maybe I'm just having a bad day today but I'm sick and tiered of the excuses that I'm hearing to justify the reason behind the affair. And then there are people who are thankful or seem to be understanding that this person who was the OW/OM have hurt feelings from the loss of the relationship of the affair. Well I'm sorry, but I can not sympothize with someone who made the decision to be with a married woman or man. If they are hurt from the affair it's because they put themselves in the position to be hurt. They have no one to blame but themselves. They acted selfishly and stupidly. Do I believe that they are hurting...sure I do but hey you did it to yourself. Like I said in previous comments, as adults we have a great ability to make hard decisions to do the right thing and not let our selfishness control us. What the hell happened to morals?!!!! And also as the ow/om, why in the world would you allow yourself to be 2nd to anyone? Do you realize the husband or wife and their children will always for the most part come before you? You are their escape from reality and they have no responsibilty with you which is why affairs seem like so much fun. How could you be ok with that? And although I was cheated on doesnt mean I'm feeling insecure about myself...and it doesn't bother me that the OW was beautiful...because I am beautiful also. What bothers me about some of the post I've seen is that they have said that they are not ashamed of their affair nor are they proud of it. So what is your feeling exactly about your actions? You should be ashamed...you may not think so but when you chose to have an affair with a married person you deliberatly hurt not only yourself but an entire family. Doesn't that bother you? This is not to take blame away from the person who was married and had the affair because they are to blame also..but this post is merely to find out what is going on in the heads of OW/OM and to let them know that they should desire more for themselves out of a relationship and to respect marriages and be a bigger person and walk away from a situation that could cause all involved a lot of pain.
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