My H and came back from Aruba last week - the trip was nice. I had a great time, enjoying the sun and the people and the sites. We were supposed to renew our vows but couldn't due to an error that occurred with the company who was working with me on the vows. I cried on the trip there, remembering the first trip to Aruba 5 years ago, when my H proposed to me on the plane and it meant something. Five years ago, we held hands, cuddled, laughed, played, and had a WONDERFUL time. This time, all I could feel was sadness - the island doesn't mean the same thing anymore, especially now that I know that 5 years ago, on the day before he proposed to me, he spent time in a motel with one of his tramps. I saw couples holding hands, playing in the pool, and I wanted it to be ME with the one person I loved and dreamed of spending my life with - I couldn't do any of those things because of the feelings I have for him. I'm not sure what I am feeling now, maybe indifference? I'm very sad, hurt and depressed. What happened????
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