You're right, the chapter was ended 4 years ago, so what was he thinking? restarting the affair. After 4 years, you don't recontact someone and then drive all that distance to end something that was ended that long ago. And even he wanted to close the chapter, he could have sone it over the phone, not driving a large distance just to end something.

Tearful, do I know what you're talking about. Five weeks into knowing about my H affair, I began calling numbers on his cell phone bill. One of the women he spoke to for hours at a time claims they are just friends and she didnt' know he was married. I asked her to keep it between us that I had called her. My next call was to the woman my H admitted to sleeping with. No answer. Meanwhile the first bitch called H to alert him. He responds by calling his exlover so that he can "put up boundaries" with her. The affair had been over for nearly 2 months before I found out. What boundaries???? So, he meets with her for 2+ hours to tell her he's married and wants to work it out with me. During which time he feeds her answers to her questions which really paint me in a bad light. She truly believes I'm a hateful, mean bitch. As a result, she doesn't find any harm in kissing my H one more time as a goodbye. She said it was a friendly kiss, but there were tongues used and it was mutual. H of course denies that he tongued her, and says he stopped the kiss. So, do you think he told me anything about his contact with her? NO! She decided to call me back the next day because she felt I deserved the truth and she knew he didn't tell me the truth. She also said she had to find out for herself if I was as bad as he told her. She concluded that I wasn't. Isn't it nice the numerous ways our H can make us pay for their cheating, lying, disgustingly cowardice ways. My H was meeting with her to try to shut her up. In the end, I ended up being betrayed again. Once again, he put his needs and her needs above mine, even as we tried to work on repairing our marriage. Stupid man.

Something in him was not finished with that affair. Are you sure they had long periods with no contact? Because, what woman would just be waiting for him like that? Do they have a child? Ok maybe i am just going overboard....it just sounds wierd.
What are your thoughts?

Tearful, I'm concerned as well if she has a child with him. I couldn't see any other reason if contact had stopped for 4 years. No other reason to dredge up all the hurt, unless for some reason he wants to start the affair up again.

No there is no child...I am 150% sure I know (now) she seems to have very little self esteem. She is 37 can't maintain a long term relationship... Never been married, What good & decent man would want some one that is a homewrecker, or wants to be a homewrecker? Has mo problems falling in love with a married man, but tells me she knew he would never leave, knew her place, knew my husband's place it was with me, not her. Now translate that and it sounds to me like "Yup I am a sleazy whore, that can only get married cheating guys because they are easy targets, cant get a long term guy but hey at least I'm getting something"I know after the 2000 contact there was no more physical contact. Distance and funds would not allow it. I am also sure of that. But they did have the e-mail "affair" until around 2005.