chortag,
No problem, it is a good question in itself. I seem to get the impression that if one forgives one stays and vice versa.

I always thought that the opposite of forgiveness was revenge or vengence. As I said in my post, can one forgive a person who assaulted you, without becoming friends with them?

If I forgive my husband, does that mean I want to allow him to have the opportunity to do it again? Am I required to believe he is repentent, to forgive. Some people you must forgive may never be repentent, that does not stop one from forgiving.

Forgiveness only means that you are not going to be bound by resentment. It is not a commitment to stay and it doesn't absolve anyone of anything. It is a gift you give yourself so you can move on.

After the breakdown that triggered the opening of communication and the beginning of healing in my own marriage, I remember telling my husband that if I couldn't get over, forgive, even, his cheating, and the way I felt so angry and resentful every time I thought about it, I would never be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone. So I started on this path knowing that I might get to a point of forgiveness, to save my own soul, but that may mean the end of my marriage. Your description sounds so much like how my husband describes the last ten years of our marriage it is eery. If your wife loves you, she needs to accept you and be a partner - and you her. We spent many years hurting each other - he by cheating and me by trying to hurt him in other ways, trust me when I say there is a better place out there. Do you love her? Does she love you? My heart breaks for you - constant rejection by your love is such an unbearable burden...

You can forgive and move on. Forgiveness is an act that helps you let go of anger, but it doesn't mean that you have to maintain ties to the forgiven.

Forgiveness is a continuous thing, not a one-time event. But, I also personally believe that infidelity gives you the right to divorce. Divorce is not the unforgivable sin. But, neither is infidelity. You can forgive in time. If your wife is not part of the marriage, then you can't really make a marriage. It takes two.

But, I do think you have it wrong about forgiveness. You can't really forgive once and say it is over. Hurts like this cycle over and over again. We have to forgive over and over again when the hurt comes back up. Jesus said to forgive "seventy times seven." So, even he understood that we can't just forgive once and go on. Sometimes the offense is so deep taht we have to forgive it over and over again. I do think forgiveness is more for you than for the OP. So, don't beat yourself up that you have to forgive again and again. I think that's normal. But, when more hurt is being added to your pain, then it becomes harder to forgive. I don't really know what you are talking about in regards to the continuous rejection you feel. But, if your wife doesn't want this to work, you need to know. If she has checked out, then you need to know. It does take two to make a marriage.

Yes, forgiveness is a process. I find myself forgiving my wife at least 10 times a day (and that's down from 20 two weeks ago). Each time I begin to feel angry, I forgive her in my head. It doesn't make the anger go away, that's not the point. But it does allow me to move forward and not hold onto my hostility.

Yes, you can forgive, then move on. If you're both not in the marriage emotionally or physically, then get out so you both can live your own lives again.

No. You don't have to stay just to forgive. I know I need to forgive but I've had too much lying and cheating to stay.

i don't believe so... FOr a while I kept telling myself that...if i forgive him then it means I have to stay with him.. NO, you forgive him for you and know that you were able to move on...if it works out wonderful, if it doesn't at least you know that you did everything you could.

You can forgive but also move on...forgiveness definitely helps you and your life and to move on especially if she is still dong things to show you disrespect and rejection. You don't deserve that.

I don't think forgiveness means you have to reconcile. You can separate, divorce, and learn how to be friends. I think if you do that, that's forgiveness.

Don't stay if you feel the way you do. You can forgive, and it will make you a better person. But that doesn't me you have to stay. Why stay regardless of what others think, if your not happy.

Forgiving is not be angry and resentful. You can also forgive and not forget but you can forgive and move on. You both need to be in a relationship where there is love expressed in every way that is needed and wanted.

Forgiving her will bring healing to you but it does not bind you into staying in the marriage. You can chose to stay or leave with a clear conscience. I will pray for you!