Can you ever quit going back? Can you give up and totally relax and be comfortable in the knowledge that they are being faithful and not lying to you anymore? I told her just to tell me the truth about where she is going, whom she is with and what they are doing. Basically to not keep secrets and not go behind my back about anything anymore. If she is upfront with me and tells me the truth from the get go, my mind will not start it's questioning. When she isn't upfront with me, I think of all the bad scenarios that could be taking place. I don't like that feeling at all. I want to be totally trustful of her all the time now. I never want to go back into that state of having to check up on her. I always feel like it's something that I am not doing right in our relationship. I try to be as supportive and understanding as I can all the time. Sometimes that gets hard when I feel like what I feel day to day gets ignored. I must say that she has been unusually attentive to me and my needs lately and you wouldn't believe how that makes me feel. We have had basically a wonderful couple of months. Now, that is going downhill fast because she is going through a very difficult time in her life with her best friend given only one week to live. She just left to go be with her a few moments ago. I pray that God will give us the strength to get through this. It's going to be the worst time we have ever had together. Even her affair and the break-up that followed, won't even be as close to hard as this is going to be. Please pray for her through this or send her a hug. her nic on this is loinchops...
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