Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Do I tell his wife?

deleted_user
deleted_user
When I say tell, I mean put the evidence in her hands. I have gone back and forth on this. It has been 10 weeks since I confronted my wife and his wife still doesn't know. To be honest I feel complicit in a way for being a part of their secret, it just seems unethical to me to keep the truth from her. Part of me wants revenge, because I want the O/M to suffer the consequenses of what hes done. But then I think of his wife and how she would feel. Should I call the O/M and tell him that if he doesn't tell her I will? Do I go straight to her? Or is this something that is truely between the two of them? Do I trust that the truth will come out eventually? What is the least destructive way for her to find out?
deleted_user
deleted_user
betrayed12-I'm not ready to tell him yet-but i feel as if he will find out one way or another sometime soon. We have to see her all the time our sons are on the sme traveling sports teams - we just spent a week with her last week in a hotel- She crossed the line several time by telling my hubby goodnight and mildly attempting to flirt/talk to him in front of me. She tries to be my friend and ask for forgiveness every time I see her. All the moms on the team go out and I am forced to sit with her. Get this one, shes 9 years OLDER than me.I'm the pta president of the elementry and she is of the Middle school. Our sons are good friends and play on the same competivie traveling team and the same high school team. She lives close by(2 miles) She's literally everywhere I turn. I'm trying to hold it together but it's so hard.I'm in a real mess.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Tell, Tell, Tell. He deserves to know.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This is how I found out about it. He gave my husband the chance to tell me first. My husband told me himself. The next day I got an email telling me about the affair. As painful as it was I needed to be told. Betrayal is never easy.
I think you need to give the OM the chance to tell his wife. After a couple of days you call her. Be gentle and spare the details unless she asks about them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I gave the OM the chance to tell his wife himself which he told me he would do. Imagine that he LIED and never did, so I did. He had an STD he passed on to my wife and his wife had no idea and needed to know that her health was being jeopardized by a selfish ASS who cared about nobody in the world other than himself and what he can get from people. She has thanked me multiple times for not allowing her to walk around and look like a fool!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You should tell her...she deserves to know and yes I believe that he shouldnt get off scot-free on this, his wife should know too. Also whats to stop him from cheating on her again and bringing her home a std...I would tell her...I made my wife tell his wife..it sounds harsh but I truly believe that my family should not be the only one to suffer from this and that his wife deserved to know of his behavior...I didnt have her do it for revenge, He was still calling her at the time and i felt that if his wife knew it would keep him busy and it did.
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