I'm 34 about to be 35 and not sure if I'm having a mid life crisis or not but I recently cheated on my husband of 6 years (today is our anniversary). We have had several issues in our marriage but the biggest has been his lack of emotional and physical availability to me. I would have to BEG for sex and even then I rarely got it and when I did it wasn't that great. He has never been very affectionate towards me although he is a good husband in every other aspect. I had threatened him in the past that he better start having sex with me or I would find someone who would. I really never had any intentions of doing so and did not go looking for this to happen..however it did. I found my first love on myspace and we hooked up. This is not the first time in the 20 years that I have known him and I do have a weakness for this man but he is no good for me. He is an alcoholic and has lost his job, his wife and his kids because of it. My husband knows everything and I am no longer speaking to the first love even though I would like to. My husband and I have talked and talked but I can't seem to figure out if I want to stay and work on our marriage or if I need to leave. My husband wants me to stay and go to counseling and says he can forgive me since he feels like he drove me to cheat, but I'm not sure I can stay in the same house and figure out if I still want to be married to him. I feel very numb towards him right now and feel like maybe moving out would help me see if I miss him and need him in my life again. The other issue is where I would be moving to would be in the same city as the other man lives and it could possibly cloud the situation if I started seeing him again. I'm torn but leaning towards moving out.
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