I turn 30 next week and I feel like I am starting a new chapter in my life. Eight months into our marriage my husband cheated. Keep in mind next month would have been a year for us. He said it was due to all the financial issues and arguments that we were having. I had two jobs and due to his record it was very hard for him to find a steady one thus he was subjected to working for temp agencies. Anyway I got tired of doing things on my own and it led to a lack of sex and constant bickering. the worse being coming home after a long day to a dirty house. The OW and I spoke and she tried to insist she did not know, but she slipped and contradicted herself. We were very polite to each other which surprised me. After all was said and done she said she was done. I wanted to leave him, but I believe in my vows. However, I LIED when I told him I would get over it because I have not been able to. Now I am finding emails from exes and I feel as if the cycle is due to repeat. I want off of this rollercoaster, but I don't kno how to stop it. I cannot stand to look at him, feel him, or even care about him, but I love him. He has lied to my face sooo many times that the L word is a non-factor for me. I am 29 with no children and I am well on my way to a better life. I am no longer connected like I once was and I feel terrible about that. I feel like I should be able to get over it, yet I remain under it. There can never be love where there is no trust and I am just over this. Can anyone relate??
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