Very bright cheat has deflected blame for so long that I am beginning to think I am packing his bags for his cheating sessions. I have turned a blind eye for so long that I have lost myself. My main focus for this marriage has been to be a loving hardworking nurturing partner in all aspects ... he once told me he does not appreciate all that I do because it makes him feel guilty. He has tried and succeeded in making me feel as though I am an awful person. He has now started to tell others "how awful I am" to try to prepare for court. He is a successful lawyer who is sleeping w/ people 20 years younger than himself and doing drugs on a daily basis. Berating deflecting goes on for hours at a deafening decibel..."You C@*#! You think I am a lying cheating f#@%! You just want to be unhappy! You're deceased by your mother! You're too stupid to see reason!" I have four degrees (honors in all), but I am beginning to think he is right. I got him to go see my marriage counselor yesterday. By the time I got done paying for two hours of my husband putting me down, I felt like I was worse than the cheating and abandoning husband. "You ...! She is a ...! I have tried, but she is just too...!" I even called him after the counseling session to see if he wanted to get together. Where did he bury my pride?
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