I am the betrayed W, one year into the recovering process after the reveal of a long term affair, which has been over for about 3 years. I am in a personal struggle between "letting it go" and gaining " a sense of control". I find myself quite often wishing my H would say or do something and then having some discussion about whatever it is I am needing from him. He comes through, but I find the process very unsatisfying because: 1.) I had to point out the problem / feeling because he did not notice on his own. 2). I generated the solution to the problem / feeling. Lately I find myself saying; "let it go" thereby, allowing things to be whatever they are, because the other process of control is so unsatisfying. It reminds me of dog training; "sit boy, sit. Good boy". What do you think; is it time for me to "let go" or should I keep providing the test and the answers to this old dog?
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