Is there anyone else out there who has to deal with this situation? I learned of my husband's affair with his supposed ex about 5 years ago. I struggled to get through all of the emotions and pain that went with this and was doing better. Then, about a year ago, I found out that there was a child as a result of their affair (their second together - the first before I was with him). Since finding out about this I feel like I'm just completely losing my mind. I'm on anti-depressants which help some but I still can't seem to stop obsessing about every aspect of this and her. I want my husband to try to get visitation but he says he wants nothing to do with her or their kids. I can't understand this and I wonder if it's just his way of keeping his "separate lives" separate. I don't think he is seeing her now and he says all the time how he wants us to be together and work through this. Thing is, he is an addict and was using during the years he was seeing her. He says it was all about drugs as she would do drugs with him and I would never consider this. I was naive about the whole thing and didn't realize he had this problem until about 5 years ago. He is verifiably clean now and is like a different person. I love him so much but I hate him too. I feel like he's destroyed some beautiful part of me that I never even knew existed until it was gone. His daughters with her are 17 and 5 years old. We have three kids together, ages 15, 13, and 11. I'm at a loss as to the best way to handle this with my kids too as this causes them tremendous pain as well. I feel so alone and lost most of the time that I know I'm not being the kind of mom I should be - the kind of mom I used to be. Is there any hope?
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