Ive gotten a few messages, read a few posts and to the people that cheat or have cheated, I realize that what happened to me doesnt apply in all situations. The way I see it is this...If your ina marriage especially a long term one, and if your not happy, at least give your spouse a chance to fix things. Dont just blindside them by having an affair. If you truly try to fix things but the spouse has no desire to even try and your truly unhappy, then yes I can understand it...its still a selfish act,especially if you have kids, but at least I can understand it..hey you tried, you made the effort and it didnt work..ok. I can only speak from my own experience,,My wife NEVER told me anything was wrong, I could sense it and offered to go to counseling,,she refused,,of course she was already involved ina affair so I can see why. This was a woman I would have done anything for, I was a good husband and father(even she told me that) for a long time and in return I got cheated on. Its as simple as that,,she did something selfish,humilated me,lied to me and has never admitted guilt...somehow its my fault....my only fault was believing she loved me..So yes in my case it is differnt, I offered her every chance to make things right,,the bottom line was the affair was more exciting than a boring life with a loving husband and family. And I also agree kids shouldnt be ina broken family thats why I said if your not happy then at least divorce,on as friendly grounds as possible, dont drag your kids into it(mind dont know and never will, It would humiliate my wife and I wont do that to her), think of your kids FIRST, thats what good parents do,,if a divorce is what is needed, then okay,divorce,,,but cheating ona spouse is also cheating on your kids,,,remember all that I was the one coming home from work, taking care of my kids while she was running around,,dont you think that time should have been spent on the kids and me instead?
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