
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

deleted_user
I am going to appolizie for the length of this post.
I still don't know why this happened. I can't explain it to my husband I have tried. Here's my story.At first it was inoccent flirting then it went farther and I can't explain why. About 8 months ago my hubby logged a cyber sex chat that took place between me and this guy I meant on a role playing game. I almost lost him. We went to counsleing but not sure if that really helped. I continued to talk to this guy, not sure exactly why. I was going through a lot of stuff with my husband, he doesn't like to help around the house, i manage all the bills and the 3 kids as well. I don't work so he expects me to take care of everything else and doesn't seem to understand the I need help too.I told him I was trying to find a way to deal with everything and wanted to be in a fantasy land that i didn't have to deal with it all on my own. He is a great father and husband in every other way. I love him dearly and couldn't see myself without him. I myself don't even know the true reason behind me cheating on him. I have never meant him just back and forth emails and phone calls. I sent him so pictures and he sent me some as well. Not sure what made me do this. I have never thought of anyone else besides my husband. Well anyway the other day after about 6 months of everything going good between husband and me other than throwing it at me a few times, he found an email that i sent this other guy. I wanted to stop communicating with him, but it was his bday so I sent him a card to be nice, big mistake, he emailed me and asked for my # so I gave it to him and at the closing of the email I put i love you. Well my husband found this email and went nuts. We are ok now talking but he keeps bringing it up and wants answers and all I can tell him is I don't know why it happened and that I sent him that email and card because I was a nice person and was going to end it once and for all but wanted to tell him on the phone. I am sorry this is so long first time I actually put it in words. I am now concerned that my marriage is going to end and that I will lose everything. I guess I am just looking to talk to someone about this and maybe get some guideance in what to do with my situation.
thanks for listening
Jenny
I still don't know why this happened. I can't explain it to my husband I have tried. Here's my story.At first it was inoccent flirting then it went farther and I can't explain why. About 8 months ago my hubby logged a cyber sex chat that took place between me and this guy I meant on a role playing game. I almost lost him. We went to counsleing but not sure if that really helped. I continued to talk to this guy, not sure exactly why. I was going through a lot of stuff with my husband, he doesn't like to help around the house, i manage all the bills and the 3 kids as well. I don't work so he expects me to take care of everything else and doesn't seem to understand the I need help too.I told him I was trying to find a way to deal with everything and wanted to be in a fantasy land that i didn't have to deal with it all on my own. He is a great father and husband in every other way. I love him dearly and couldn't see myself without him. I myself don't even know the true reason behind me cheating on him. I have never meant him just back and forth emails and phone calls. I sent him so pictures and he sent me some as well. Not sure what made me do this. I have never thought of anyone else besides my husband. Well anyway the other day after about 6 months of everything going good between husband and me other than throwing it at me a few times, he found an email that i sent this other guy. I wanted to stop communicating with him, but it was his bday so I sent him a card to be nice, big mistake, he emailed me and asked for my # so I gave it to him and at the closing of the email I put i love you. Well my husband found this email and went nuts. We are ok now talking but he keeps bringing it up and wants answers and all I can tell him is I don't know why it happened and that I sent him that email and card because I was a nice person and was going to end it once and for all but wanted to tell him on the phone. I am sorry this is so long first time I actually put it in words. I am now concerned that my marriage is going to end and that I will lose everything. I guess I am just looking to talk to someone about this and maybe get some guideance in what to do with my situation.
thanks for listening
Jenny
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Something was missing in your marriage and you decided to search for it outside of your marriage. Your husband may not have listened to the 'hints' you gave that you were not happy. Most of the time, hints don't work. You need to break out the big lumber and smack him with it and say "Hey!!, I'm not happy here and I feel something is missing and if you don't listen to me, I am concerned that I may search for what is missing somewhere else." Contacting this guy again after you had been caught haveing an emotional affair over the internet was a BIG mistake. You need to break all contact with this guy. A fundamental trust that is SUPPOSED to exist in a marriage has been broken. ANY contact you have with the person you cheated with will re-open the wounds ... regardless of whether it was innnocent or not. When trust has been broken it is something that has to be earned back. The person that was cheated on has been hurt more than you realize. The innocent b-day e-mail was the equivalent of stabbing him with a knife and reaffirms in his mind that you can NOT be trusted. Why would anyone want to be married to someone they can't trust?
My advice is to be completly honest with yourself and your husband and tell him EXACTLY what it is you feel is missing in your marriage. Until you are honest, the pattern will repeat and trust will never be built.
In your case, I'm with Bigguy3, maybe something was missing in your marriage, but that is no reason to put your husband and kids at risk of losing you to a stupid mistake. Something made you want to do this. You just have to be honest with the answer.
Sorry if this sounds a little bitter, but this is just my opinion.
Get rid of that PC. Promise your H that you will never log onto a computer ever again.
If texting was part of the affair then bin that phone for 6 months or so to demonstrate your willingnes to make it work.
There may be others as well, the key thing is to take drastic measures to ensure no repeats.
My heart goes out to you - don't feel so badly about your on line activities - it's only natural to feel some resentment when you're "carrying the load". And role playing is so much fun ! I've been where you are now, and in all honesty have never really found the answer. But be kind to yourself ...we're only human.
thank you all so much
not to be mean but, i think your H should been the one seeking out support. hopefully he is. to me it sounds like you are looking for sympathy for the problem you have created. and now have to own up to it. but i am not trying to be a bully, its just i know first hand how your H feels right now.
sorry for the way things are, but this could have been avoided, just like my situation. maybe marriage counseling will help both of our relationships. don't know, though. these are scary times for me too.
thanks for your advice.