I feel like it will forever be marked in my spirit and soul. I don't care much about what other people see when they look at me besides my H. And he will forever look at me and know precisely what type of person I am inside. And that, more than anything, crushes me. He should feel absolute joy and passion when he looks at his W. He should see purity, honesty, and morality when he looks in her eyes. Instead, he sees rancid ability to harm the one she loves the most. And if other people can see that too, oh well. They don't mean anything to me.

My H feels that no matter how hard he tries, and how good he is to me, he will always feel like "a cheater". I am not sure if he cares about how others feel. I did not keep his affair a secret, I made him leave in the middle of the night the moment I found out, so family, friends, coworks and neighbors know. He is having a hard time forgiving himself, I have forgiven him, but my feelings have changed. I knew by looking at him, but others were shocked.

no one knows my husband is a cheater just by looking at him he has always been really good and hiding his feelings of guilt if he has any at all. My mom knows he cheated on me but that is the only person that knows. Everyone else in my family thinks he is a well rounded good husband that takes care of his family if only they could tell what he has done to me by looking in his eyes maybe then they would not hold him on a pedestal like they do.

When I found my husband was having an affair, I told everyone that I knew including his family and my co-workers.
No one could tell. He hid it so well.
After we made up, he cheated again with the same woman, my best friend.
I couldn't tell. I don't know if he was just that good at hiding things or if I'm just that stupid.

I don`t think its something that people can see just by looking... my H and I arent together but people see us together at sons events and we talk and joke and get along well and when I told the one mom she couldn`t believe we were having issues at all...so no I really dont think they can see it

I know I look different. When I look at a man, any man, it is an effort not to feel repulsed. I don't want that to sound insulting to any man, but that is my gut reaction. It is an effort to try to look friendly or at least neutral. And then when I do manage it, a few times I have been taken for flirting! That is the very last thing on my mind. I think I'll go back to crossing the street when I see a man.

If you have been cheated on, it is hard not to portray it in some way reflected in your behavior.

That is the case for me, anyhow. I do not feel like socializing and my conversations are limited to putting on a face or redirecting topics of conversation.

It is tough to look people in the eye sometimes, even strangers. It is like I do not want them to see what I feel.

I am sure that people notice that something is up. Maybe other people who have gone through the same thing see it and recognize it - recognize the hurt and the lonliness and the gutting of the soul.

So yeah, some people probably pick up on this because of how we are - how we interact and how we do not interact.

No, Lurioosi. I don't see a cheater when I look at my wife. I know she did it. But I don't see it in her. She's still pure in my book. I just wish she could see herself through my eyes for one day. If she could she might love herself enough to come out of her cloud of confusion, guilt and resentment.